The headlines for this story in the British press are along the lines of “Archie to summer with the Queen in Balmoral” and “The Queen will finally see baby Archie this summer.” Like baby Archie Mountbatten-Windsor is going to dash off to the airport by himself and catch a plane so he can spend time with his great-grandmother, the same woman who gleefully punished his parents for daring to walk away when they were smeared and abused. That about sums it up, right? Right. The story originated in the Sunday Times: the Queen apparently extended an invitation to the Sussex family to come to Balmoral this summer. And maybe the Sussexes will go to Scotland, who knows.

His absence from the country of his birth and his wider family is understood to have left the Queen feeling “very sad”. But Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, who turns one in May, will finally return to these shores this summer. It could be his first trip this year, although he may accompany his parents to Britain in June when they attend trooping the colour.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are believed to have accepted the Queen’s invitation to visit her this summer at Balmoral, her Scottish retreat, and are planning to take their son with them. They are also expected to spend time with the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall at Birkhall, Charles’s retreat on the Balmoral estate.

It is unclear in what month the Sussexes will visit Balmoral. Archie could join his parents at the trooping of the colour in June as well, the Times reports.

[From The Sun and The Sunday Times]

I don’t doubt that the Queen loosely invited the Sussexes to spend some time at Balmoral this summer. She invites nearly all of her relatives to come to Balmoral – she’s there for two months, sometimes three months, and it’s a “thing” for royal family peeps to schedule a three-to-eight-day window to spend time with Liz. But the Sussexes chose not to go last year, for good reason. Because they saw the lack of support from the Firm and they chose not to play that game, especially given William and Kate’s budget flight stunt AND Andrew’s presence all over Balmoral. What makes us think that this year will be any different? If anything, it would probably be ten times worse this year, post-Sussexit.

I mostly think this story is part of the dawning realization for the British press that they chased out the most interesting royal figures, and so they’re left to dream-theorize about when the Sussexes will come back. Plus, they wanted to continue to bash Meghan and Harry for not bringing their baby back the UK during a huge public health crisis.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Backgrid and Instagram.

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I might be a self-isolating hermit looking for good stuff to watch, but even I was not interested in watching last night’s audience-free Democratic debate. I think the debate should have been canceled overall, not just because Bernie Sanders needs to get out of the race, but also because it’s the height of “do as I say, not as I do” to have these old men traveling around the country, interacting with thousands of people a day during the coronavirus pandemic. Anyway, I’m sure the Bros will tell me that I missed tons of “good parts” of the debate, but here’s the only thing I care about: Biden pledged that he would choose a woman as a VP. He also said he would be the first president to put a black woman on the Supreme Court, and that his cabinet would be diverse/inclusive.

When asked about Biden’s pledge and if he too would commit to choosing a female running mate, Sanders just said “in all likelihood, I will… For me it’s not just nominating a woman. It is making sure that we have a progressive woman — and we have progressive women out there.”

I saw some people saying that Sanders “hedged,” and while it’s not the kind of pledge I would want, that’s not my biggest concern. My biggest concern is what kind of Susan Sarandon/Tulsi Gabbard/Jill Stein-looking woman he would consider loyal enough for the unhinged bros. The bros would still throw a fit about it, let’s be honest.

As for Biden’s pledge… it made me happy and I think he will choose a woman as his running mate (meaning, I trust him, he made the pledge and he’ll follow through). And it’s that simple for me. I feel like he has two choices: Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren. Both would be amazing.

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Photos courtesy of Getty.

Intro: Minutes 0 to 8:00
I have been sick for over a week and feel like I can’t clear my throat. Chandra was sick too but got over it quicker. We have no way of knowing whether we got coronavirus because there are almost no tests in America. I think I caught whatever I have from my son who came home with a bad head cold. As of this recording his school was still open, but our governor, Ralph Northam, announced a state of emergency in Virginia and his school has been closed until March 27. Here’s a link to the Washington Post article I mentioned about the researcher in Seattle who was told to stop testing samples. We’re suspicious of all the rich connected people who can get tests while the rest of us don’t have access to them. Chandra is missing her tennis fix as new tournaments have been canceled. She’s watching HGTV and cooking shows and I love the new show Dispatches from Elsewhere on AMC. Chandra recommends I watch Watchmen on HBO. You can listen below!

Royals: Minutes 8:00 to 19:20
Harry and Meghan just completed the “You Could’ve Have a Bad Bitch” Tour with their final appearances as royals in the UK. Meghan wore several iconic outfits you probably remember, including the red-caped Safiyaa gown, her blue bodycon Victoria Beckham dress, her white skirt and top by Topshop and Roland Mouret and her green Emilia Wickstead dress and hat. I gush about how open and vulnerable Meghan continues to look, even as she’s being snubbed and treated poorly by her husband’s family. Chandra mentions that Princess Diana had this quality too. We talk about Meghan’s affirmational life and how she’s able to avoid negativity.

Chandra thinks Meghan’s fashion has improved so much because she’s finally able to dress like she wants and doesn’t have to dress frumpy to please the royals. She actually looked like she was enjoying herself during the Commonwealth Day service despite all the petty drama with the royals. We laugh about the trolls hating Meghan when she always looks so sweet and composed.

Here’s the clip that I mentioned of Sophie and Kate talking to each other and ignoring Meghan completely.

The whole world saw Kate and Sophie acting like high school mean girls. If they are bold enough to do this in public imagine how they are behind closed doors. This is exactly what Meghan meant when she said no one asked or cared about if she was doing ok. https://t.co/CGnlAOzESK

— D&DofSussex?? (@dof_sussex) March 10, 2020

Chandra explains the drama over the Sussexes entering Westminster Abbey separate from The Queen, unlike last year’s service. She doesn’t believe the conspiracy that William got told off by The Queen.

We got a tip from a reader in London who claims to have insider knowledge from royal sources that William and Harry fell out due to William’s affair. Her connections sounded legit to us. Chandra doesn’t believe that’s the sole reason for the brothers falling out. She thinks it’s more due to William’s treatment of Meghan.

Politics: Minutes 19:20 to 22:00
Biden won the next set of primaries and Sanders has yet to step down. Chandra wants me to insert a clip of Biden saying “malarkey” and is ruining my setup. She’s not 100% behind Biden but of course we’re going to vote for him and will be so grateful when he’s president, knock all the wood. She told me about Biden’s coronavirus speech, which I missed because I was napping. It was somewhat boring and wonky, which we miss so much from Obama.

Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas: Minutes 22:00 to 27:00
Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas did a paparazzi beach stroll in Costa Rica to celebrate their new relationship. Chandra thinks we should call them Afflarmas, which I forgot to mention in the last post I wrote about them. Ben is 47 and Ana is 31 but looks like she’s in her early 20s. Chandra reminds me of Ana’s Vanity Fair interview where she revealed her sheltered life growing up in Cuba. She also got defensive about her career and I read an excerpt where she denies sleeping her way to the top, essentially. She used to date a very high-level CAA executive named Franklin Latt. I googled him and he looks hot and not too old for her. She’s not the screwed up one here. We wonder if she’s ever Googled Affleck and what advice she’s getting from friends.

User Feedback: Minutes 27:00 to 28:15
Miriam is in Kirkland, Washington and lives right near the nursing home where so many people have passed away from coronavirus. She sent us a nice email us thanking us for helping provide normalcy while she was at home working during a stressful time. Chandra loves working from home and we’ve been doing this for so many years. We feel bad for people who have to go to the office and stay so late.

Comments of The Week: Minutes 28:15 to 31:00
My comment of the week is from Spicecake38 on the post about Naomi Campbell wearing a hazmat suit and goggles to fly. Chandra’s comment of the week is from Mich on the post about how Brad Pitt tried to one-up Angelina Jolie after she told the story of two of their daughters needing surgery.

Thanks for listening bitches! Call us at 434-218-3219. Rate, review and subscribe to us on YouTube, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play Music, Castbox and Google Podcasts. We need more user questions so please feel free to ask us random things.

I was honestly surprised that immediately following the royal shenanigans on Commonwealth Day, there wasn’t some immediate reporting on just went down between the Sussexes and Cambridges. I mean, we got Prince William’s version of events, which is that Prince Harry and Meghan were “emotional” at not being including in the royal procession, and Will and Kate selflessly decided to stand down so that Harry and Meghan’s punishment wouldn’t be that notable. I don’t believe that version of events, because nothing lines up there. That doesn’t explain why Kate completely blanked Harry and Meghan and why Harry looked like he was about to throw hands at his entire family. As it turns out, the British press held their best gossip for the Sunday papers. I get that.

What’s been clear for about a year and a half is that Harry and William had a significant and substantial falling out. Again, I do not believe the cover story for their falling out, which is that “wise William” questioned whether Harry was moving too fast with Meghan before the wedding. That’s something from the Willileaks files. Their bigger falling out happened in the fall of 2018, and it was concurrent with the ramped-up smear campaign against Meghan specifically. My belief is that Harry saw and understood that William was behind a big chunk of the smears. I bring all of this up because the Daily Mail did an exhaustive story about how Harry and William’s relationship is as toxic as ever. The DM continues to push a very Willileaks-centered narrative, how curious!! Almost as if William successfully exiled his popular brother and popular sister-in-law and now William is spreading his false narrative to anyone who would listen. You can read the full DM piece here. Some highlights:

W&H’s relationship is worse than ever: Those close to the brothers say things between them are worse than ever. William is said to feel insulted by his brother’s recent comments, including the stream of remarks on Harry and Meghan’s Sussex Royal website, which many have taken as implied criticisms of the Royal Family. William feels his brother has ‘disrespected’ the institution of the monarchy and – most woundingly of all – their grandmother the Queen. Harry, too, is profoundly unhappy, believing he has been cut adrift by his own relatives, convinced that his wife was not made sufficiently welcome, and feeling that his own work has been seen as less important than that of his elder brother. Harry is even said to believe that his infant son Archie has been abandoned by The Firm.

Harry & William’s relationship has been deteriorating for years: For the brothers, once as close as it was possible to be, have been drifting apart since Harry’s Army career was brought to a premature close. And, on Harry’s part at least, the anger has been mounting. Palace aides had hoped that January’s Sandringham summit – the crisis meeting about Harry’s future staged at the Queen’s Norfolk estate – had cleared the air between them. But any hopes of a reconciliation have died.

Harry’s life post-Army: Unable to find a new job suitable for a Prince, Harry is even said to have considered working as a firefighter or a rugby coach. He was growing increasingly irritated, meanwhile, at life on the Royal front line, despite public admiration for the work he undertook with William and Kate. Royal sources say that behind the walls of Kensington Palace, Harry felt he was becoming a third wheel in their shared charitable foundation…But in Harry’s mind, he was not an equal partner. One source says: ‘It didn’t help that whenever he asked the shared staff at Kensington Palace to do something, they were often busy with ‘more important’ work for the Duke of Cambridge, who, after all, will one day be King.’

Harry & Will disagreed about conservation work? The MOS understands there were also heated debates between William and Harry about their differing approaches to conservation work, a major strand of their charitable foundation. ‘They are both very passionate about conservation,’ says the source. ‘But they have very different views on how you protect wildlife in Africa. William thinks the focus should be on community-led initiatives. He thinks you have to teach local communities how to value the wildlife and ensure the local population are empowered to protect the land. Harry believes in a more hands-on approach to genuinely protect areas.’

Meghan made it worse? It seems Meghan’s arrival only exacerbated Harry’s fears that his work, and now that of his fiancee – a self-styled activist and campaigner – was not being taken as seriously as that of his brother. Some suggest that Meghan encouraged Harry to believe his feelings of disquiet were not only legitimate but should be acted upon. Meghan’s many ideas for projects bamboozled Palace aides, who were not used to this new way of operating, with early-morning emails and a non-stop stream of suggestions and requests. One aide described it as a ‘different type of work culture that no one was prepared for’.

William was “growing in status” as the Sussexes felt raw from the smears: [Last fall] William had been steadily growing in status, attending meetings with the Queen and Prince Charles to discuss the great transition – when William will become Prince of Wales and assume control of the Duchy of Cornwall estate. Harry’s presence was rarely required at these conferences. William had studied agriculture and would receive briefings on running the 130,000-acre Duchy that has an annual income of £24 million. No doubt it was also a reminder to Harry that the Duchy estate would make William a very wealthy man, while Harry would be reliant on a less generous income. ‘When Harry gave the interview about being on a different path to his brother, I don’t think anyone in the Palace was surprised,’ an aide says. ‘One [brother] is going to be King and the other is not and therefore has to figure out what that [life] looks like.’ Another Royal source says: ‘It didn’t help that William never let Harry forget which of them was going to be King.’

Harry should have stayed in the Army? A source close to the family says: ‘Harry has always been looking for signs that he belongs, but soon all he could see – I think wrongly – were signs that told him he wasn’t needed. He should have taken his father’s advice and stayed in the military. Leaving the Army was the worst thing he could have done.’

[From The Daily Mail]

It was my understanding – at the time and to this day – that the Queen, Charles, William and all of the courtiers told Harry that he could no longer be in the Army. His military career had gotten to the point where he would either have to go all-in and make a decade-long commitment to military service and basically step away from “royal work,” OR he would “step up” as a full-time royal. You have to also remember that this was 2015, when William and Kate were Peak Workshy and the courtiers and the family wanted Harry to end his military career so that at least one of the younger generation was actually doing work. And while this was *suspiciously* not mentioned in the Mail’s story, at the time, Harry was already knee-deep in planning the Invictus Games when he quit the Army (the first Invictus Games were July 2015).

Anyway, this story was just Willileaks gloating, honestly. William doesn’t give a sh-t that he did irreparable damage to his relationship with his brother. William doesn’t give a sh-t that he smeared Harry and Meghan to the point where exile was the only option. William thinks that he now gets to run the narrative about everything. Don’t let him.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

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I just wrote in my post about Lin-Manuel Miranda and the newly released Hamilton duet a few of the things that companies are trying to do to support people who are home right now in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, either because of shutdowns or quarantine. Another celebrity who is helping out her fellow citizens is Bethenny Frankel. People has more:

Through the BStrong initiative and their partner, Global Empowerment Mission, she is raising funds to put together what she calls “BStrong corona kits.”

“BStrong corona kits will have the essentials for families to prevent [coronavirus],” Frankel shares. “We will give them masks and gloves and I’ve gotten hydration kits donated and antibacterial and sanitization wipes as well.”

“Our goal is to create 20,000 kits,” she says, and she plans to distribute them for prevention in poverty-stricken areas.

BStrong is also raising money for cash cards to be distributed to parents who cannot afford to keep their children out of school and to help provide lunches. They have already raised $50,000, she says.

“Bstrong is an initiative for people in crisis and this is a crisis,” she says. “My place of yes is taking a terrible situation and finding my way to help — without blame or politics, we simply get involved and do our part.”

[From People]

Bethenny said that she was moved to do this when she realized that a lot of schools in New York City weren’t closing in part because the children would have nowhere to go and wouldn’t have meals during the day. She said: “That made me feel just so sad for people whose children are less fortunate and have to be at school even if the parents don’t want them to.” Facemasks won’t eliminate the risk of getting ill, but keeping your hands clean is so important. This isn’t the first time that Bethenny has used her BStrong initiative to help out during crises, and it’s wonderful of her to do.

Considering that there are awful people who are hoarding hand-sanitizer, I’m glad that Bethenny wants to distribute it, though I think her efforts to provide money for meals for children who might otherwise go without are going to be more useful. (Those two jerks will donate their 17,700 bottles of hand sanitizer. How about not buying all of it in the first place?) On Sunday afternoon, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio announced that the schools in the city would close starting today, so those cash cards for meals will be essential.

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Photos credit: Getty and Avalon.red

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Everyone is talking about Gayle King’s interview with Oprah because Gayle talked about getting dragged for daring to question Kobe’s legacy. Gayle described the pain of being threatened and bullied, and I think she handled that situation very well. My favorite quote from her about that is this one, “we can disagree, and you can be mad at me even, but you can’t speak to me the way I was spoken to and threatened.” Exactly. While some may wonder why she would bring up that question so soon, she received a lot of vitriol for it that wasn’t warranted. Plus a lot of people were feeling that way and she gave voice to them, particularly victims. That’s all I want to say about that.

In that interview for Oprah’s Visionary Tour, available on YouTube, Gayle actually told a crazy story that I hadn’t heard from her before. She talked about finding her ex husband in bed at home with another woman (whom she knew and who was also married) when she came home early from a trip with her kids. She also opened up about her ex wanting her to dim her light, and how she tried to please him by turning down career opportunities. (I didn’t include that part below, but you can see it on the video.) Gayle was married to William Bumpus from 1982 to 1993 and they have two children together, Kirby, 33, and William Bumpus Jr., 32. It sounds like divorcing William is what finally allowed her to shine. Here’s some of what she told Oprah and thanks to Madame Noir for transcribing this conversation. Gayle had actually reconciled with her husband before this and Oprah told her it wouldn’t last!

She had reconciled with her husband and caught him in bed with someone else
Gayle: This was in the days before cell phones and the airline used call and say ‘Your flight is canceled but we can get you on a flight if you leave right now.’ So I threw the kids in the car, we rushed to the airport. I came home, actually a day early. He wasn’t expecting to see me and I wasn’t expecting to see her.

She was married and they were friends of ours.

Oprah said she knew but Gayle didn’t suspect
Gayle: You how they tell you the wife always knows, the wife always suspects? I had no clue, whatsoever.

Oprah: Well, I did. The clue was when I was at your house and the phone rang and the woman on the other end asks to speak to her husband. And I happen to answer the phone and when her husband gets to the phone, he said, ‘Nobody’s there.’ Now, I ain’t stupid. Somebody was there and asked to speak to him in a very nice voice too.

Gayle: If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, it would have been explained away. They were both nude, by the way. So I even had to see that. But if they had been sitting there fully clothed, they could have said ‘We were talking.’ But it did have to be that graphic, that’s absolutely true. So I pay attention to all whispers at all times.

Oprah: It was a terrible moment and anybody who has been betrayed that way, in your own home, you know how that destroys your spirit. How it shatters you. So if anybody’s gonna cheat, don’t bring the person to your house. That is the most disrespectful thing you can do. But in spite of that, you were the kind of mother who never said anything negative around your children, who wanted their father to still be engaged in their life and made it possible for him to still be in their life. Why?

Gayle: Yes! I think you have to love your children more than you’re mad at him. Also nobody wants to hear, ‘You know what he did to me?’ Nobody really cares, except your closest friends and even they get tired of hearing it. As much as you dislike him, you have to find a way to navigate that. I’m happy to say that we can actually be friends and have a civil conversation. I’m very proud of that actually.

[From Youtube transcribed by Madame Noire]

It turns out that Gayle did talk about this before. In a 2016 Vanity Fair interview she was asked whom she most despises and she said “I’m not a huge fan of the woman who I caught naked with my now ex-husband on June 24, 1990, at 9:16 p.m., but I don’t remember the details.” Oh damn! Her ex apologized after that, saying he was haunted by “this life altering choice,” and that “I have nothing but the utmost respect for Gayle and how she handled herself with grace. Despite the situation, she kept our children, as well as my relationship and involvement with them, as a clear priority.” That’s what Gayle told Oprah too, that she kept their kids in mind. That was very classy and what I would expect from her. You know who this reminds me of, whom I think of when considering women acting gracefully in the wake of their husbands cheating? Elin Woods. My god the stories that woman must be able to tell, but she kept super quiet, she prioritized her kids and Tiger called her one of his best friends afterwards.

Getting back to Gayle and Oprah, I love how Oprah was like “I knew but I didn’t say anything.” Gayle needed that slap in the face of finding her ex nude in bed with someone in order to see the truth so clearly.

Here’s that interview! They also talk about their friendship, which Oprah says is just a part of their lives. They also ripped on each other’s fashion and styling and joked about the rumors that they’re gay. That was really sweet and funny. Oprah also gifted Gail a nanny when her kids were young. Also I love Gail’s dress so much and want it.

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The interest in stories about Prince Andrew has died down. I get that, I do. Most people don’t WANT to talk about him or think about him, especially when there’s a flashy soap opera happening between the younger royal couples. Plus, all of the big stuff already happened: people successfully harangued Andrew into giving an interview about his association with Jeffrey Epstein, and his performance in that interview was the reason why he got sh-tcanned from his “full-time royal” status and work.

The issue about is… if we stop talking about him and how disgusting he is, the Queen will successfully reintegrate him into royal life. She’s already doing that. So that’s why I continue to bang this drum. In recent weeks, Andrew hired a new lawyer, one who specializes in extradition cases. Which is weird because here in America, the prosecutor and Gloria Allred keep talking about how Andrew refuses to cooperate with the Epstein investigation. So what’s new now? Andrew’s new lawyer – the extradition lawyer, one would assume – is talking to the American prosecutors. But Andrew is still refusing to give an interview. And he seems peeved that an HRH, prince of the realm and dear mummy’s favorite would be EXPECTED to submit to an FBI interview, like a peasant.

Prince Andrew’s lawyers have been in contact with prosecutors investigating sex offender Jeffrey Epstein since the new year, a new report claims. The royal has been under intense pressure to aid an investigation into the late billionaire — and had reportedly failed to respond to requests to help US officials. However, a spokesman for Geoffrey Berman, the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York — who is leading the inquiry into Epstein’s sex trafficking — confirmed to the UK’s Telegraph that “there has been communication between both legal teams”.

The revelation contradicts Berman’s previous comments in January that the Queen’s son had offered “zero cooperation.” The New York Times later quoted “three people familiar with the investigation” as saying Andrew had failed to respond to calls. Berman’s spokesperson told The Telegraph: “There have been communications through his attorneys, but we have been informed that he is not willing to submit to an interview.” Sources close to Andrew had described him as “angry and bewildered” by the suggestion he had refused to co-operate.

Last week, Berman, whose reappointment may hinge on the outcome of November’s presidential election, yet again claimed that Andrew had “completely shut the door” on the investigation.

“Contrary to Prince Andrew’s very public offer to cooperate with our investigation into Epstein’s co-conspirators, an offer that was conveyed via press release, Prince Andrew has now completely shut the door on voluntary cooperation and our office is considering its options,” he said.

In the wake of the backlash over his car-crash BBC interview last November, Andrew announced that he was “willing to help any appropriate law enforcement agency with their investigations if required.” He then stood down from public life.

[From Page Six]

It feels like people are just going through the motions at this point. It’s a technicality – Andrew won’t talk to the FBI, but he’ll hire a lawyer to stonewall the FBI indefinitely. I never really believed that Andrew would ever willingly submit to an FBI interview anyway, but he’s especially not going to do it after his BBC interview was so awful, and that was just with the court of public opinion. Still, it’s worth repeating this forever: Andrew is still an HRH. He’s still a prince of the realm. He got to keep all of his military titles. He’s still mummy’s favorite. He still goes to church with her. His daughter still gets to have her wedding in a posh tent at Buckingham Palace. Because Andrew’s crimes involved rape and human trafficking and sexual abuse and assault. It’s not like he tried to EXIST while being black.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red and Backgrid.

The administration’s response to the coronavirus pandemic has been abysmal, to say the least. Governors have had to step up and take care of their citizens. On Sunday, New York City mayor Bill de Blasio finally ordered the closure of the largest school system in the country. These are scary times, and people have been sharing ideas on social media for ways to engage in self-care. Here’s a page from PBS about how to talk to children about coronavirus, and a story about museums that offer virtual tours.

Another gift to folks who can’t leave home has come from Lin-Manuel Miranda. A few weeks ago, we got the official word that a Hamilton movie will be coming in 2021. On Thursday, an announcement was made that Broadway would be shutting down until April 12. Lin-Manuel hopped on Twitter with an announcement that he was sharing a duet written for Alexander Hamilton and George Washington, “I Have This Friend,” that was cut from the final show:

Wish I could send you peace of mind via this app.
Alas.
But I can send you music no one’s heard. Here’s a cut Hamilton/Washington tune called I Have This Friend. No one’s heard it, not even Kail.
Funnier if you picture me and @ChrisisSingin singing it.https://t.co/lhkLP0jQeT

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) March 12, 2020

That’s an incredibly kind gesture by Lin-Manuel! I’ve also seen a few graphics on Facebook for suggested schedules (if schools aren’t moving to online instruction). Starting this week, the Cincinnati Zoo will be offering weekday Home Safari Facebook Live events at 3PM Eastern. The first features local celebrity Fiona, an adorable hippopotamus that was born at the zoo in 2017. For fans of opera, the Metropolitan Opera will be streaming titles from its “Live in HD” series. And, if you have Disney+ and/or a child in your house, you probably already know that Frozen 2 is streaming now, three months ahead of schedule. I’m so glad that local officials are stepping up, and that companies (and people like Lin-Manuel!) are thinking of creative ways to keep people engaged and cheerful right now. Take care of yourselves and each other (and wash your hands)!

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Photos credit: Avalon.red, Getty and Backgrid

I am legitimately jealous of some British slang and obscenities a lot of the time. Calling people a “bell-end” in America will be met with a lot of blank looks. But it’s a good slam. And Donald Trump is a bell-end. Massively. He’s also a liar, a crook, a moron, a misogynist, a white supremacist, a nativist, a white nationalist, a Nazi, a sexual assailant, a spineless creep, a traitor, a monster, and an all-around disgusting person. Trump is more worried about the stock market than people who might die (and are already suffering) from the coronavirus. He has not put two and two together and realized that he showed bare-bones competence and leadership during a massive international crisis, the markets might calm down. Instead, he’s trying to stunt-queen his way into an economic recovery or something?

He did a press conference with CEOs on Friday, timed particularly to give the market a boost just before the closing bell. It worked because investors don’t care about what he was actually saying. In between blatant lies about testing availability and an overdue declaration of a national state of emergency, Trump took a moment to call a female reporter’s question “nasty” and then refused to take responsibility for his own unhinged, lackadaisical approach to a public health catastrophe. This reporter is PBS’s Yamiche Alcindor.

Shortly after that, NBC’s Kristen Welker asked Trump again about the lack of availability of corona tests and whether he takes responsibility for the failures of this administration. His response? “No, I don’t take responsibility at all…”

Question: Do you take any responsibility for the lag in testing?

Trump: No I don’t take responsibility at all pic.twitter.com/YgTRBAx1ZU

— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) March 13, 2020

The whole answer is just… kind of stupid-funny because he doesn’t even have the balls to go up there and say it out loud during a news conference, even though he’s itching to just spit it out: “IT’S OBAMA’S FAULT.” He’s been blaming Obama in tweets and in round-about ways, but he’s too f–king weak and pathetic to go all-in on that particular lie. Trump gutted his administration’s pandemic-response team. He refused to appoint new people. Obama understood that a pandemic could happen and he put people and plans in place. And it’s just pathetic to see this grown-ass fruit loop of a man completely abdicate responsibility. He’s just so weak.

Also, it seems like the reporters finally convinced Trump to get tested. This, after he has been exposed to several corona-positive people over the past week. Last night, the White House doctor came out and said Trump tested negative. Horsesh-t.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

I felt attacked yesterday when I expressed my confusion about whether I should overreact or underreact to the coronavirus pandemic if I’m feeling okay. I went to the gym yesterday, and I picked up some more supplies at a grocery store. I’m prepared to socially distance and all of that, but the scenes are surreal and the shaming is real! It doesn’t help matters that when I am out, I see tons of people everywhere. Not as many people as usual, but still – I get that “people on the internet” are taking quarantining and social distancing and self-isolating seriously. But are other people?

So I don’t know what to think about Angelina Jolie doing some last-minute grocery shopping with her daughter Vivienne. They went to Whole Foods yesterday and came out with two big paper bags full of supplies. There are five kids at home with Angelina now, with Maddox in college in South Korea. If the Jolie-Pitt clan tries to self-isolate in LA, they’re going to need more supplies than that. Also: Angelina, by her own admission, can’t cook. My girl can’t boil an egg. Maybe they’re just getting Uber Eats or food deliveries?

Also: Angelina’s commitment to sack-dressing is really something. I’m actually pleased that she’s not wearing a black sack dress at the moment. It’s spring, so she went with a summery sack. The dress looks like a costume from Midsommer. And I friggin’ love her sunglasses. Little Vivi doesn’t want to be photographed though. Paparazzi in the time of corona.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.