One of the strangest stories of 2015 was Nick Loeb’s lawsuit against his ex-fiancée Sofia Vergara. Sofia and Nick were together, on and off, for years, and at one point, they were going to have a child together via surrogacy. Nick’s sperm fertilized Sofia’s eggs in a lab, and two separate implantations were attempted, and neither stuck. In the end, Nick and Sofia broke up and she moved on with Joe Manganiello. But there were still some embryos left in the freezer, and Nick sued Sofia for “custody” of the embryos. He wanted to implant them in another surrogate and raise the daughter (they were gender-selected girl embryos) by himself. The whole thing was an absolute mess, and Loeb ended up cozying up to the anti-choice crowd in a big way. Sofia maintained that the embryos belonged to both she and Nick, and until they could agree, the embryos would stay in the freezer.

Loeb’s original lawsuit was filed in California, and there are still motions and judgments and filings and whatever. Basically, that part of the craziness has not been settled. But then in one of the strangest twists ever, the embryos are now suing Sofia. I sh-t you not. A rabid anti-choice group has sued Sofia on behalf of the embryos, and the group has even NAMED the embryos (Emma and Isabella). The lawsuit was filed in Louisiana, a state which has a much heavier anti-choice record across the board. Page Six has the whole breakdown of the crazy new lawsuit here. It’s too stupid and disturbing to even excerpt, honestly. When media outlets went to Sofia’s lawyer, Fred Silberberg, for a comment about this new crazy lawsuit, Silberberg said:

“Next week the judge presiding over the case was to rule on Ms. Vergara’s request for sanctions against Mr. Loeb for refusing to comply with a court order, and on her motion for summary judgment-seeking dismissal of the case he filed against her, attempting to get control of pre-embryos that he created with Vergara. That genetic material was created pursuant to a written agreement that required both parties written consent to attempt to create a pregnancy. … Reports are out that Mr. Loeb has caused a lawsuit to be filed on behalf of the pre-embryos in Louisiana, essentially trying to get the same relief that he was trying to get through his failed legal attempt in California.”

“The media reports contend that Mr. Loeb has caused a lawsuit to be initiated claiming that the pre-embryos – which are not embryos, but rather frozen fertilized ova, have been given names by him and have a right to live.” Silberberg went on to say he believes this new lawsuit will “result in failure” for Loeb, and that Vergara is “happily married” and should be spared “another unnecessary legal battle.”

[From Us Weekly]

If this all wasn’t so dystopian, it would be an interesting legal dilemma. The main thrust of Loeb’s argument is that by refusing to implant the two embryos (or ova), Sofia is effectively “killing” them. But that’s not true – those embryos can be frozen indefinitely, right? She never said “throw them out.” She just said, “Keep them on ice until further notice.”

Another legal argument against Loeb is that he’s only come-to-Jesus on the “right to life” issue recently, and that (allegedly) at least two of his previous girlfriends had abortions when they were with him. Sofia’s lawyers tried to get Loeb to identify those two women, but HE ACTUALLY SAID “I would rather go to jail than reveal the names. I believe we have to protect a woman’s right to privacy.” Yes, he has so much respect for a woman’s right to privacy. That’s why he’s suing his ex for her intimate genetic material, attempting to emotionally blackmail her, and cozying up to the ultra-right-wing anti-choice fringe. Because he has so much respect for a woman’s right to privacy.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.