Grammy Award-winning singer Adele covers the December issue of Vanity Fair and opens up about suffering from postpartum depression after welcoming son Angelo with beau Simon Konecki in October 2012.

On suffering from postpartum depression: “My knowledge of postpartum—or post-natal, as we call it in England—is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life. It can come in many different forms…You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mom.”

On suffering from depression for years: “I have a very dark side. I’m very available to depression. I can slip in and out of it quite easily. It started when my granddad died, when I was about 10, and while I never had a suicidal thought, I have been in therapy, lots.”

On how her social life has changed since motherhood: “I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for him. I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again. Having a hangover with a child is torture. Since I’ve had my baby, I’m not as carefree as I used to be. I’m scared of a lot of things now because I don’t want to die; I want to be around for my kid. I’m very cautious.”

On quitting drinking: “I used to love to be drunk, but as I got more famous I would wake up the next morning and think, ‘What the f–k did I say and who the f–k did I say it to?’ I can see from an outsider’s perspective that I will never write songs as good as the ones that are on 21, but I’m not as indulgent as I was then, and I don’t have time to fall apart like I did then. I was completely off my face writing that album, and a drunk tongue is an honest one. I would drink two bottles of wine, and I would chain-smoke. Then I’d write the lyrics down and the next morning think, ‘F–k, that’s quite good.’”

On her partner of five years Simon Konecki: “It’s the most serious relationship I’ve ever been in; we’ve got a child together and we live together. I have no desire to be with anyone in show business, because we all have egos. He’s not threatened by any stage of my life that I’m going for, and that’s an amazing thing.”

On the 14-year age gap with Simon: “After releasing my first album, all the other people I ever was with were so insecure about themselves—they couldn’t handle it at all. When I try to describe this to my friends they don’t always get it, because they go out with people that are our age, but Simon is already who he is, and I’m still becoming who I’m going to be. He’s confident. He’s perfect.”

On her priorities: “All of my relationships are more important to me than any tour I’ll ever do. If my relationship with Simon or my relationship with Angelo started to flounder a bit now, I would pull out of my tour. My life is more important to me than anything I’m doing because how the f–k am I supposed to write a record if I don’t have a life? If I don’t have a real life, then it’s game over anyway.”

For more from Adele, go to Vanity Fair…