Trigger warning for the following story

After we heard Donald Trump brag to a laughing and complicit Billy Bush about how he enjoys sexually assaulting women and getting away with it, the press has paid more attention to the fact that he’s been accused of multiple incidents of sexual harassment and assault. Trump is currently being sued for raping a 13 year-old girl in 1994, and he was sued in 1997 for sexual harassment. His ex wife, Ivana, said during a deposition that he raped her in 1989 while they were married, although she later tried to characterize it as a “violation” instead of rape.

As many other people have said, this is not “locker room talk” which is in any way normal or acceptable. Trump said these things while making a professional appearance on a television show, athletes don’t regularly brag in the locker room about hurting women, and when it happens it’s just as much an indication of rape culture as this exchange between Trump and Bush. This incident has created a movement of women sharing their stories of being assaulted, raped and hurt by men. Amber Tamblyn posted a story about an abusive ex who did grab her by the “pussy,” resulting in extensive vaginal bruising and pain. It took a lot of courage for her to share this.

I need to tell you a story. With the love and support of my husband, I’ve decided to share it publicly. A very long time ago I ended a long emotionally and physically abusive relationship with a man I had been with for some time. One night I was at a show with a couple girlfriends in Hollywood, listening to a DJ we all loved. I knew there was a chance my ex could show up, but I felt protected with my girls around me. Without going into all the of the details, I will tell you that my ex did show up, and came up to me in the crowd. He’s a big guy, taller than me. The minute he saw me, he picked me up with one hand by my hair and with his other hand, he grabbed me under my skirt by my vagina— my pussy?— and lifted me up off the floor, literally, and carried me, like something he owned, like a piece of trash, out of the club. His fingers were practically inside of me, his other hand wrapped tightly around my hair. I screamed and kicked and cried. He carried me this way, suspended by his hands, all the way across the room, pushing past people until he got to the front door. My friends ran after him, trying to stop him. We got to the front door and I thank God his brothers were also there and intervened. In the scuffle he grabbed at my clothes, trying to hold onto me, screaming at me, and inadvertently ripped off my grandmother’s necklace, which I was wearing. The rest of this night is a blur I do not remember. How I got out to the car. How I got away from him that night. I never returned for my necklace either. That part of my body, which the current Presidential Nominee of the United States Donald Trump recently described as something he’d like to grab a woman by, was bruised from my ex-boyfriend’s violence for at least the next week. I had a hard time wearing jeans. I couldn’t sleep without a pillow between my legs to create space. To this day I remember that moment. I remember the shame. I am afraid my mom will read this post. I’m even more afraid that my father could ever know this story. That it would break his heart. I couldn’t take that. But you understand, don’t you? I needed to tell a story. Enjoy the debates tonight.

A photo posted by Amber Tamblyn (@amberrosetamblyn) on Oct 9, 2016 at 8:14am PDT

That made me cry a little. This is what happens when men “grab women by the pussy.” This is what happens when other men listen to these stories and laugh and give encouragement. We need to teach our sons that this is not ok, that women are not property, that men don’t own our bodies and that they need to monitor their friends and acquaintances so that they don’t have the opportunity or encouragement to rape, assault and hurt women. The criminal justice system isn’t doing it, and the people in power are not being properly prosecuted or facing consequences for it.

Also, whosdatedwho only lists one past relationship for Amber Tamblyn before she married David Cross.

photos credit: WENN.com