Every morning this week, I wake up and one of the first things I wonder is “what fresh hell has Donald Trump wrought for today?” At this point, Trump gossip is the only gossip. It feels like even celebrities know that, because celebrity-gossip has been suspiciously low-key this week. Everyone in America must be waking up the same way, wondering what new horrors await us in this final 24 days. So let’s breakdown some of the hell-on-earth:

Trump had a thing about Marlee Matlin. Yesterday, we heard about Trump harassing Marlee and making sexually explicit comments to her while she appeared on Celebrity Apprentice. Now the Daily Beast reports that Trump allegedly referred to Matlin – who is deaf – as “r-tarded.” He would often treat her like she was mentally disabled… just because she was deaf. Ugh.

Trump’s unearthed 1994 interview. Nancy Collins interviewed Trump for ABC’s Primetime Live and the Hollywood Reporter just published the transcript of the interview, which you can read here. Here’s a pearl of wisdom from Trump: “Psychologists will tell you that some women want to be treated with respect, others differently. I tell friends who treat their wives magnificently, get treated like crap in return, ‘Be rougher and you’ll see a different relationship.’ Unfortunately, with people in general, you get more with vinegar than honey.” *shiver*

Donald Trump had a go-to line to pick up little girls. In the 1990s, whenever he saw girls from the ages of 10 to 14, he would say some variation of “we’ll be dating in ten years!” Gross.

The NYT responds. Trump is making a lot of noise about how he’s going to sue the NY Times and his lawyers even sent the Times a letter, and the NYT responded – go here to read. The NYT’s official position is that their reporting is not libel because Trump is disgusting in his own words.

Donald Trump Jr. is a pig too. Just in case you ever wondered about how his father’s views affect future generations, in a 2013 interview, Donald Jr. dismissed sexual harassment in the workplace, saying: “I’m of that mindset — and I’ll get into trouble, I’m sure I’ll get myself in trouble one of these days – if you can’t handle some of the basic stuff that’s become a problem in the workforce today, then you don’t belong in the workforce. Like, you should go maybe teach kindergarten. I think it’s a respectable position. You can’t be negotiating billion-dollar deals if you can’t handle, like, you know…” Donald Jr. trailed off. What? You can’t negotiate billion-dollar deals if you’re a sexual predator obsessed with grabbing women by the p-ssy? Because that’s what I think.

Donald Trump Jr. keeps talking. When trying to explain his father’s comments, Junior said: “I’ve had conversations like that with plenty of people where people use language off color. They’re talking, two guys, amongst themselves. I’ve seen it time and time again. I think it makes him a human. I think it makes him a normal person, not a political robot. He hasn’t spent his whole life waiting for this moment to run for the presidency. I think it means that he’s a human being that he’s a regular person like everyone else. I think that’s what endeared him to the American public.”

Melania Trump wants People Mag to print a retraction. Melania says she never spoke to the journalist, Natasha Stoynoff, in public. And that’s what Melania wants retracted?

The only good thing I have to say at this point is that Hillary Clinton currently has an 85% chance at winning the presidency according to FiveThirtyEight. She’s been hovering in 80s all week, and I suspect that’s where she will remain.

Photos courtesy of WENN.