Before we get to the latest sad stuff from the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard saga, I’d just like to make one superficial observation: I’ve spent a lot of time the past few weeks going through years of photos of Amber, and I have a growing appreciation for her hair. She has really great hair, you guys. Okay, superficial stuff over. E! News has a new story based off of quotes from unnamed sources. The sources are pro-Amber, so E! News might be ready to choose sides. This story is basically “what was going through Amber’s mind when she decided to stay for two years as the abuse got worse.”

The fallout from Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s divorce continues. Ever since Heard filed for—and received—a restraining order against her soon-to-be ex-husband, it has become a he-said, she-said case filled with allegations of domestic violence. Now a source on Heard’s side tells E! News that the couple’s relationship varied depending on Depp’s alleged drug use, but Heard would say she had faith that things would improve.

“Amber didn’t want to come forward about the abuse because she had faith he’d get better and that it would stop,” the source claims. But Heard has said that when Johnny was sober he wouldn’t lay a hand on her, but when it was a different story when he was under the influence. The source also claims Heard didn’t come forward before because she has “suffered severe emotional trauma.”

Our insider explains Heard would say that Depp would try to atone for his actions.

“Whenever there was an incident he’d apologize profusely and she’d forgive him. Until now,” the source says. “She’s now realized that his addictions got the best of him and that she couldn’t continue living this way.” Heard eventually told people that she became “scared of him and his temper” but managed to stay strong. “Amber is a tough girl and thick-skinned, which is why those close to her are surprised she has let this happen to her, and it’s taken so long for her to divorce him. But their love is unlike anything she has ever experienced and even through what is happening now she still loves him and wants him to get help.”

[From E! News]

This is pretty much what I gathered from those text messages (now authenticated by People Mag) between Amber and Depp’s assistant. Depp would get high and/or drunk, he would abuse her, she would leave, and then he and his people would work in concert to manipulate Amber into coming back. Plus, as I’ve said, addicts always see themselves as the victims. Amber probably saw Depp that way too. As in, how can this man be an abuser if he’s the victim of his own addiction? And: if I tell someone, if I press charges, if I leave, that will just hurt him even more. That’s how people get caught up in the cycle of violence.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.