I’m not going to pretend like I know too much about singer Grimes. I know that she may or may not be dating Elon Musk, which, already, shows her taste is questionable. I know that she has interesting marketing techniques, like calling her own music “crap.” And just the other day I learned that Grimes is partnering with Stella McCartney for her Adidas Collection. Stella announced Grimes involvement on her IG page. Grimes used a photo from the same shoot to confirm her collaboration with the designer on her IG page. In her caption, Grimes detailed her workout routine so that we, too, can get her nice toned figure. It’s a crazy workout, too. Burpees and planks have been replaced with shouting into the void, wielding a sword and submitting to a deprivation chamber.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by MISS ANTHROPOCENE (@grimes) on Jul 15, 2019 at 4:33pm PDT

Here’s her caption:

ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regimen ?

GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions – past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on.

I am all about the you do you philosophy when it comes to training. If I could stick to any routine, I’d be happy. Who’s to say that sword fighting isn’t the magic exercise that keeps me honest. I would finally have a proper party trick, that’s for sure. But I’m trying to add this routine up and I come up with about eight hours – that’s a bit much, I’d say. It’s cool to read about such a unique workout but I’m looking at it and the only thing I can really apply to my own routine is the fundamentals workout and the hike incline, at least until I find my sword fighting coach. It’s not relatable for the person they are trying to get to buy their shoes.

Going completely off assumption, I image Elon introduced Grimes to many of her alternative therapies. The supplemental routine was likely influenced by a trainer, but the rest came from someone who likes to research a lot of stuff, right or wrong. I know nothing of deprivation chambers because my claustrophobia barely allows me to read those words without getting light-headed. I am fascinated how a singer could get into scream therapy, though. Remember when Katy Perry said she and John Mayer didn’t even talk at home to save their voices? Granted I’ve never been trained in scream therapy but this seems risky. I get the benefit, though. Shouting into a pillow is some of the best therapy I’ve gotten. As for the experimental eye surgery, again, this just isn’t relatable. Even though some say there’s a case to be made for blue-light blockers, it’s not something the everyman can afford to do. And since she’s promoting an experimental surgery, we don’t even know if she should be promoting it yet. I mean, the shoes are cute, but if I need eight hours a day and experimental surgery in addition to paying for a Stella McCartney price tag for them, not sure this is my jam.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by MISS ANTHROPOCENE (@grimes) on Mar 19, 2019 at 7:33pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by MISS ANTHROPOCENE (@grimes) on Nov 26, 2018 at 3:36pm PST

Photo credit: WENN Photos