Do you think Gwyneth Paltrow is a good mother? I think she probably is. What little we see of Apple and Moses, they seem like well-adjusted, normal kids. Gwyneth took a lot of time off from her career to spend time with them when they were babies, and even now, their schedules seem to be her #1 focus in how and where she works. My only concern is that I think Gwyneth pushes a lot of her food issues onto her kids, but it also seems like Chris Martin does a good job at balancing that stuff out and “letting the kids be kids.”

I bring this up because this week’s Goop-letter is all about “narcissistic parenting.” It’s a long piece and it’s worth a read – go here for the full piece. Gwyneth didn’t write it or anything – it was written by Dr. Robin Berman, a professor of psychiatry at UCLA. There’s a lot of talk about “healthy narcissism” versus “malignant narcissism” and how parents are too self-absorbed these days and they ruin their kids’ childhoods. An excerpt:

Narcissism doesn’t have to be absolute. It can show up in little ways and often under the guise of doing “what’s best” for your children or giving them opportunities you were deprived of when you were little. For example, it’s understandable that you’d want to enroll your kids in soccer because you didn’t get the chance to play, but you also have to notice if they even like soccer. You might bring home clothes in monochromatic colors because that’s your style, but you have to notice what colors your child gravitates to. While you want your child to attend your alma mater because it worked for you, think about whether you’ve asked if it will work for him. To get narcissism out of the picture, make sure your motivation stacks up with what your kid wants.

Narcissists have a way of making everything about them—they take up all of the air in the room. Their profound need for attention and praise subverts everyone else’s needs. Unchecked, a parent’s narcissism eclipses a child’s feelings. Narcissistic parents take their children’s every feeling or action personally. These parents are easily angered when a child does not agree with them or mirror them. Parents with narcissistic tendencies are so sensitive to praise and admiration as fuel that it makes them overly sensitive to criticism. So children learn to tiptoe around these emotional minefields, trying not to trigger that anger, or worse, have their parents withdraw love.

[From Goop]

I predict that some will snicker and say that Gwyneth is not only a narcissist, but she’s so self-absorbed, she’s oblivious to the fact that this post is about her. But is it really? Don’t get me wrong, I think Gwyneth is a self-absorbed narcissist too. But I’m just not convinced that she’s a bad mother. I think she’s the kind of mother who is all about the special-snowflake parenting. Which is a whole other psychological analysis.

You know who fits the textbook definition of “narcissistic parenting” though? Kimye.

Photos courtesy of WENN.