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I chose not to write about Emperor Bigly this weekend, not that there was a lack of articles about him. I just needed a break from Bigly Updates. But it’s Monday and another fresh hell is upon us, so let’s get to some of the stories going around.

Bigly went golfing again this weekend. He’s spent more time on weekend vacations and on the links than any previous president has in their first few months. This was actually his 14th golf outing in his 10 weeks in office. This weekend, Bigly went golfing with Rand Paul and they talked about healthcare, because why not?

Bigly’s new interview with the Financial Times. He says he’s still working on healthcare. He says “I don’t lose. I don’t like to lose.” He still blames Democrats for the Trumpcare failure.

Bigly tried to bully NBC’s Chuck Todd. Todd is the moderator of Meet the Press. Todd is also – just my opinion – one of the most trustworthy journalists on NBC, or any network. Baby Fists tweeted Saturday morning: “When will Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd and @NBCNews start talking about the Obama SURVEILLANCE SCANDAL and stop with the Fake Trump/Russia story… It is the same Fake News Media that said there is ‘no path to victory for Trump’ that is now pushing the phony Russia story. A total scam!” Yes, the Russia story is so fake that the FBI has been investigating it for a year. Also: Bigly is such a moron.

Bigly admires the Pence marriage. Bigly must read the blogs, because he was aware of the story last week that VP Mike Pence refuses to eat meals alone with any woman who is not his wife. Bigly told reporters: “I will tell you, he has one hell of a good marriage going.”

Susan Rice & the “unmasking.” Allegedly, Obama’s NSA Susan Rice was the Obama official who requested the “unmasking” of several people who were in communication with Trump officials. Which is sort of what I suspected – Obama did not “wiretap” Bigly Trump, but Trump and his people were at times caught in a larger NSA dragnet in which foreign nationals’ communications were being monitored. And Dr. Rice was one of the Obama people who knew who was talking to whom. Of course, now the Deplorables are like “PROOF!!1!!”

Mike Flynn is super-forgetful. He forgot to include all of his shady Russian speaking fees from his financial disclosure forms. So forgetful!

April is National Sexual Assault and Prevention Month. Bigly, an alleged sexual assailant of more than a dozen women, made a statement.

Last thing: this came out last week and I just never got around to posting it. Here’s a short video of Bigly compulsively organizing and reorganizing stuff in front of him. People wonder if he’s slightly OCD.

This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen pic.twitter.com/EF6Hk3Y3ai

— Ali Segel (@OnlineAlison) March 27, 2017

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Photos courtesy of Getty.