In an interview with Britain’s Marie Claire Magazine, the 22-year-old talks about her emotional state immediately after the traumatic event.

“God has a crazy way of working, and sometimes when stuff happens you feel like, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ Why was it backfiring on me?” Rihanna says. “I was very lost. I have to say I felt really confused. I hate talking about it but it was really crazy because I felt so out of touch with myself and when that happens it’s scary because nothing you say or do feels like it’s you.”