You know that famous scene in Sex and the City (the TV show) when Carrie Bradshaw breaks out in stress hives because she lacks The Bride Gene? That’s how I’ve felt about weddings for a really long time now. I enjoy looking at wedding photos. I enjoy wedding cake (any type of cake, honestly). I enjoy judging your wedding gown. But I’m missing The Bride Gene. I just… don’t care. Personally, I don’t care. And I’m fine with that. I always sort of assumed Sarah Jessica Parker didn’t care that much either – after all, she famously married Matthew Broderick wearing what looked like a black 1980s prom dress. But I forgot that SJP is shilling her own label now, and she’s just started selling bridal shoes. Thus, she covers the new issue of Martha Stewart Weddings. In the cover story, SJP gives ladies some wedding tips!

Her new dream wedding gown: “If I were getting married today, I’d likely wear cream, just to have that bridal experience. Now I would want my dress to have an Oscar de la Renta feel, pockets below the waist, a very fitted bodice, a huge skirt, in taffeta or duchesse satin. That silhouette appeals to me because it’s old-fashioned yet can look very modern.”

Something borrowed, something blue: “At my wedding, my shoes were teal velvet Robert Clergerie. I borrowed a handkerchief, someone gave me an old coin, and the dress was new, so I covered all my bases.”

Bridesmaids shouldn’t complain about their dresses: “It’s incumbent upon anyone who is included in a bridal party to wear what the bride wants—to make it work and not complain. It’s the couple’s day, and it’s an honor to be part of it.”

Choose flowers that have personal significance: “Personally, I love gardenias so, so much, and also lilies of the valley, because they are two of my mother’s favorites. When I was a kid living in Cincinnati, we grew lilies of the valley in the yard. Now, in summer, our house is filled with bouquets of wildflowers my daughters pick. At a wedding, people might strive for a more formal feeling, but a lot of the rules can be broken today. ‘Formal’ could be a handful of carnations, beautiful and simple.”

Stay loose: “Many couples don’t get to experience their own wedding; they’re making the rounds, trying to say hello and thank people. That’s understandable, but also step back at times and focus on what you see. I think it’s nice when there are children running around with their bows untied and hair disheveled. It relaxes and touches people.”

[From Martha Stewart Weddings]

CARNATIONS?!?!? Those are filler flowers!! God, I need to stop quoting SATC. As for SJP’s wedding advice… it sounds pretty normal to me. She’s not saying anything groundbreaking although I side-eye some of her personal preferences, especially her ideal wedding gown. The way SJP describes her current ideal gown just seems so basic and boring. Granted, she’s NOT Carrie Bradshaw and I would hate for her ideal to be that Vivienne Westwood monstrosity she wore in SATC (the first movie). Oh, and if I ever get married (I won’t), little kids will be banned. Tweens are fine, teens are fine. But little kids and babies? Nope.

If you’d like to see photos of SJP’s new bridal shoe line, go here.

Cover courtesy of MS Weddings, additional photos by WENN.