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I actually had no expectations coming into my first viewing of the Cats trailer. The only thing I knew about it was what I learned from the preview yesterday – there were dance rehearsals and all the actors were so happy that they didn’t have to wander around in absurd cat costumes, and that their “fur” would be added digitally. It sounded messy and like the whole thing was going to be an uncanny valley disaster. Well, now the trailer is here and… yes, this is a disaster, I’m sorry.

So after that, I actually had to do some research. The research consisted of skimming this Polygon article. Taylor Swift plays the sexy tabby Bombalurina, and no, Taylor will not be singing “Memories.” That honor goes to Jennifer Hudson, who plays Grizabella… I think? Right? Judi Dench plays Old Deuteronomy, Idris Elba plays Macavity, Rebel Wilson plays Jennyanydots and Jason Derulo plays Rum Tum Tugger, who was originally based on, like, Mick Jagger? I don’t know about any of this, peeps.

One thing worth noting is that Taylor Swift and the other actors insist that their catfaces and fur were “not motion capture,” meaning they didn’t have to wear green-screen suits or whatever. But… I think they did, and Universal has already shown behind-the-scenes footage where the actors are wearing motion capture suits. I think that there was probably a different kind of method for achieving the “catface” look and wow, they should have waited for the technology to get a bit better, because this is awful.

This is amazing because it fits so well:

I put the song from Us onto the Cats trailer and I think it fits better. pic.twitter.com/VMBlbeDQs5

— “Ian” Abramson (@ianabramson) July 18, 2019

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Photos courtesy of Cats.
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