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Yesterday afternoon Kaiser and I talked over the phone about our Emmy coverage plan. She was cracking me up so much, as usual (just listen to our podcast), describing how awful it was going to be. I didn’t believe her and thought they might do something fun with it. Also as usual she was right. The Emmys tried to do a regular format with some quarantine twists and they failed miserably, in my opinion. This is NOT the time to do a three hour awards show with dumb jokes, a bunch of filler segments and in-person presenters. If they would have tried to shave even a half hour off I would have been somewhat happy with it, but they did not. It lasted the full three f’ing hours. I live on the east coast, I get up before 5 am and I normally go to bed around 9. If you mess with my bedtime and then try to mock me about it, as Jimmy Kimmel did, I will hold a grudge and deliver that sh-t cold. He said “don’t complain about how long the show is. The Lakers game is over, what else do you have to do? Play Candyland with kids for the 9 thousandth time? We got you right where we want you, you son of a bitch.” Of course Kimmel would make it all about himself.

Just wait Kimmel. How’s that long vacation after your blackface scandal working out for you? Yes Kimmel is good at smack-talking Trump and advocating for healthcare and human rights, but he bugs me so much now.

The Emmys did put some fun twists into the night. They sent out over a hundred camera kits to all the attendee’s houses so we got to see everyone react live as the awards were announced. People in LA and even some in other places, like the Schitt’s Creek team in Toronto (more on them in another post!) got to get their Emmys delivered by people in blow up hazmat-type suits. Apparently these Emmy deliverers showed up to every nominee’s house for some categories, as shown in Ramy Youssef’s tweet:

when you lose the emmy pic.twitter.com/ECkbGcoHBA

— ramy youssef (@ramy) September 21, 2020

That’s cute as hell! Other categories, like Variety Talk Series and Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series, had these box things that would open remotely and dispense confetti and an Emmy if the person won. That was inventive, but this is quarantine Emmys, they could have had a whole team of people cutting live to the celebrities’ homes and having them doing little prearranged segments, like Hugh Jackman baking (he loves baking), Helena Bonham Carter feeding her dogs treats (she did this live I loved it) and celebrities talking about activism. (We needed more of a nod to the times.) Instead, we got the same show as always just without the in-person glamour. There were some celebrities who showed up to present, like Tracee Ellis Ross, but the jokes fell flat and just added to the plodding feel.

Kimmel’s opening monologue, where they tried to make it look real by splicing in sound and audience shots from other Emmys, was creepy as hell. (I counted several years going on the women’s gowns. Sarah Hyland’s and Viola Davis’s shots were from 2017, Regina King’s was from 2018, Rachel Brosnahan’s and Kristen Bell’s were from last year.) It messed with me a lot and revealed so much about their approach to this year’s show. They tried to fit into an old outdated format and expected us to be entertained.

Another highlight were the essential workers presenting awards, like the history teacher and the UPS delivery person. Some were not as successful though.

D-Nice was fun and I really liked H.E.R.’s performance and the in memoriam segment. They ended with Chadwick, as they should have.

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