On Saturday, the Daily Mail published an “interesting” piece by Richard Kay, one of their relatively old-guard royal reporters/commentators. Kay reflected on last week’s royal catastrophes and lies, mostly coming from Kensington Palace’s in-house clowns. Kay’s piece is called, “If the Royal family is not quite at the 11th hour… it is perilously close: An impassioned warning from RICHARD KAY that can’t be ignored.” As Omid Scobie tweeted, “One might even say we have reached the endgame…” LOL. Just FYI, the Mail littered the piece with photos of Prince Harry and Meghan, two people who have not lived in the UK in over four years and who have nothing to do with the current royal clownery. Still, Kay takes some real shots at Prince William and someone quite notable in King Charles’s inner circle. Some highlights from the Mail:

The Mother’s Day Frankenphoto debacle: Kate’s admission that she had doctored the photograph, and her apology for doing so, were the latest self-inflicted wound by the House of Windsor, for which trust and integrity are fundamental commodities… the overriding impression is bleak. The photograph issue, while small in itself, nevertheless exposed tensions that lie close to the surface in the family, as well as the fragility of an institution that for decades seemed impervious to any external threat.

Endgame: But if we are not quite at the 11th hour, we are ­perilously close. There still may be time for the high tide of public disapproval to recede, but the cost to the royal image and to individual reputations has been high. More concerning still, such crises no longer seem the exception, but the rule.

The power vacuum: Now, there is something of a power vacuum. When the King is unavailable, who is in charge? Is it Camilla or ­William? No one can truly say, maybe because everyone is waiting — or at least hoping — for the two stars of the show to rally and return. These unavoidable ­sabbaticals have presented the royal household with a shivering reality test.

William’s absence at King Constantine’s memorial: William’s own, sudden absence from that service for his late godfather — at which he was due to give a reading — remains a mystery. For a prince, who two years ago indicated in reports that he intended to break with the royal convention of ‘never complain, never explain’, he has proved remarkably reticent. It is also unlikely that his father, let alone his grandmother, would have made such a clumsy intervention in the Gaza conflict as William did last month, earning a stinging rebuke for appearing to ignore Israeli losses. Older courtiers also ­shudder at the memory of his hastily authorised denunciation of racism that saw his godmother Lady Susan Hussey resigning as a Lady of the Household in 2022.

Questions about the Duchy of Cornwall??? Closer to home, there have been questions about the Duchy of Cornwall, the vast property and land empire which generated profits of £24million last year. Because he became Prince of Wales half-way through the financial year, he is thought to have taken only a ­portion of the income. Even so, courtiers have asked what he spends the money on — or even if he has the faintest idea what to do with it. ‘His father had his huge staff at St James’s Palace, the gardens and farm at Highgrove and for many years his polo expenses. He was also paying William and Kate’s running costs and, for a time, Harry and Meghan’s. ­William has only his own family bills to meet.’

William’s other missteps: William has also made several ­missteps, for example not ­supporting in person the ­Lionesses when they reached the final of the Women’s World Cup in ­Sydney last August. Many felt that, as President of the Football Association, he should have attended. Then there was last week’s ­confusion over an announcement, made in error it seems, about Kate’s attendance at June’s Trooping the Colour ceremony. It saw the Army hastily removing the claim from its website.

Worrying Wales dysfunction: Moreover, why was it left to Kate to take the rap for the farce over the Mother’s Day photograph? The fallout from the debacle has seen a frenzy of online speculation about the state of her marriage, underscored by the curious absence of Kate’s ­wedding and engagement rings in the picture. Might not a joint statement have helped to reinforce the ­couple’s unity and the security of the institution? Cumulatively, these episodes speak of worrying dysfunction.

Huevo vs Harry: One matter above all represents the gravest threat to the future of the monarchy: the feud between William and his brother that ­poisons the House of Windsor. At the heart of the discord lies the allegation that Kate (as well as the King) were the alleged ‘royal racists’ who dared to speculate about Harry and ­Meghan’s son Archie and the colour of his skin. William rightly feels his wife has been cruelly smeared by the innuendo — and for now, the rift is total.

William is profoundly incapable, huh: William —with Kate, all being well — will likely be on the throne for ­decades. It therefore poses a question: what can they do today to give us confidence that they will be ­anywhere near as effective as monarch and consort as the Queen and Prince Philip were? Can they steady the royal ship, even in the squalls and storms of social media comment and untamed ­foreign reporting? William’s priority, understand­ably, has been his wife’s health and the welfare of their three ­children. But even before this ­crisis, he had drawn sharp ­boundaries to ensure that royal duty does not encroach on family time. This has earned him the ­nickname among those in the King’s circle as the ’10am to 4pm’ prince, because outside those hours he is off-duty. Meanwhile, there is a Palace view that William’s stubborn nature, which can be helpful to royalty — not least when dealing with government ministers — is contributing to the current sense of aimlessness. For the King, the ­frustrations must be deeper still. He has been moved by Camilla’s willingness to lead, although whether she is ­having to do so because of ­William’s absence is unclear.

People hate the king’s private secretary, it seems: A change [might be needed] at the top in the King’s private office, for example. Observers have been disappointed that there has been no settlement of the many patronages and ­charity roles held by the late Queen. Whitehall blames Charles’s ­private secretary, ex-Foreign Office operative Sir Clive ­Alderton, 56, for what is being called a ‘lack of grip’ — and for not managing the institution in the absence of its chief in the way it needs to be. ‘He was fine as aide to the Prince of Wales but it is a different ball game running the Sovereign,’ says one source. At Clarence House, Alderton was known as ‘wet-wipe’ because he was always on hand to ‘wipe the boss’s a***’.

[From The Daily Mail]

The Clive Alderton thing, while hilarious, feels out of nowhere – let’s face it, King Charles’s office has at least passed a baseline competency test, while I’m not sure William’s staffers could find their asses with two hands and a map. The swipe at William’s running of the Duchy of Cornwall is curious too – there’s almost an insinuation that William is mishandling Duchy funds, but then the quotes are just like “wtf does he spend his money on?” I mean, the hunt for the Kensington Palace CEO rages on, which is why those two things are very curious to me – clearly, it’s KP that needs to bring in competent managers for a series of boneheaded crises, while BP’s courtiers just need to work a bit faster.

In the first part of Kay’s piece – which I didn’t excerpt for space – he’s melting down because European and American media are “mocking” the Windsors… and then he goes on to say that they all have a point. And he devotes a significant part of the column to criticizing William specifically for all of his bungling, failures, aimlessness and laziness. “This has earned him the ­nickname among those in the King’s circle as the ’10am to 4pm’ prince…” You know how happy people would be if William worked from 10am to 4pm every day though? Instead, it’s more like “he only works noon to 3 pm once a week.” Seriously though, I’ve never seen or heard of William doing an event at 10 am. It just doesn’t even happen. Anyway, Happy Endgame Week!

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.