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If you lost at the Oscars would you be tempted to go home and skip the parties? I know I would. Hell, I would want to ditch the minute someone else’s name was announced. These celebrities have teams of people relying on them to showcase and promote their work. Plus their friends and coworkers are out and they can mingle. You know they have decent snacks and drinks and by that time you’re starving. Networking is part of their job. I would not make a decent celebrity, is what I’m saying.

Angela Bassett wore a Moschino gown to the ceremony and she changed into a Moschino pantsuit for the Vanity Fair after party. She is vibrant and unbothered and her friends and family were there! I was looking at the Instagram for her makeup artist and he reposted a story where someone posted her picture and wrote “face card never declines” which is so accurate for her. He also posted the makeup he uses for her and it’s all Chanel.

Danai Gurira was in a glam pink sequin gown that fit her like a glove. She was working that cleavage and she looked amazing. I love how she was all covered up and prim for the Oscars and let loose for the after party.

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Salma Hayek wore Gucci to the ceremony. I don’t have an ID on her after party dress, but she definitely picked the better dress to wear earlier in the night. This looks a little nightgowny, I think that’s due to the lace edging. I like her daughter Valentina’s dress a little better. Valentina is 15 and she looks so bored! I remember that age, it’s just how they are.

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Hong Chau changed into black ruched Maison Rabih Kayrouz. This is such a different look from her staid pink Prada at the ceremony and I like it. Like Danai, she was conservative for the Oscars and switched it up after. I’ve enjoyed seeing her fashion this awards season. She takes calculated risks.

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Allison Williams should have worn this striped gold gown to the Oscars. It’s so much better than the pink Giambattista Valli mess she had on. She was just a presenter though, maybe she didn’t want to overdo it.

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Kerry Washington attended the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in a champagne Donna Karen gown. Fortunately, Vanity Fair stuck with their traditional black carpet, so the dress wasn’t washed out by the beige nonsense like at the Oscars. Unfortunately, the dress isn’t great. And it’s too bad because Kerry has been killing it of late, too. Her styling is fabulous but the tattered neckline and messy gathering at the waist makes it look like she tried to upcycle a satin bedsheet. At least Kerry knows how to work a gown. She’s elevating this.

Me expecting Kate Beckinsale to hit the mark at the VF party is starting to feel like Charlie Brown kicking the football. I got my hopes up when I saw the clean perfection of this Tony Ward asymmetrical neckline. And then I looked down and got sad. As someone who isn’t eager for the sheer skirt trend to come back in the first place, I certainly don’t want it paired with all of my grandmothers saved tinfoil balls. And I’m tired of Kate in a high ponytail. She looks fine in it, but we’ve seen it so many times.

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Emma Roberts brought divorce party realness to VF in this Dolce & Gabbana corseted gown. I love these two pieces separately. The lace bodice with chiffon skirt is quite pretty. And the sheet lace-trimmed widow’s cape is sexy and dramatic. But because it has a defined choker, it’s competing with the dress’s neckline. It’s also throwing off Emma’s styling, which would have worked for the gown alone. But with the cape, it looks like she’s play-acting.

I’m waffling on Minnie Driver’s Emilia Wickstead gown. I mostly love it. I don’t like the pearl ladder on the side. I love the green floral print and am choosing to believe that’s Minnie’s shout-out to St. Patrick’s Day coming up. The top is a little boring, but I love the full luscious skirt. The winners though, are the back detail and earrings. I’ll bet this was amazing in motion.

Photo credit: Cover Images, JPI Studios/Avalon and Getty Images

Danielle Deadwyler was notably snubbed for an Oscar nomination despite her moving performance in Till and I guess was not invited to the Oscars. But she did attend the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in Versace. I wish I could say she turned up and showed out, but I really don’t like this. My first thought was she looks like Wilma Flintstone, but I was wrong and she’s actually wearing Fred Flintstone’s colors. I do like the jewelry though. And her subtle makeup and pixie are perfect.

Gabrielle Union in Ralph Lauren was probably my favorite in a sea of sequined black dresses. I always love a deep-V and I like the extra long sleeves here — at first I thought they had thumbholes. Her jewelry, hair, and makeup are on point, as always. And Dwyane Wade is in Prada.

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Alexandra Daddario was in Alexandre Vauthier, the blousy version of Gabrielle’s dress. It even had a deep-V in the back! I’m on the fence about this dress — in some photos it looked great and in others it looked a bit like a plastic lawn bag. I love those earrings though.

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Halsey gave off goth, witchy vibes in Givenchy. It looks like the gloves are attached to the dress, there’s a ruched front, and here’s another deep-V in the back. You know I love Halsey, but this is boring. Except for the back, I would wear this to work. I’ve seen much better from her, and recently too, which makes this extra bad. Also their cheeks look very snatched.

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Halle and Chloe Bailey posed together at the after party. They’re so cute! Halle changed out of her Ariel blue dress into another great dress. This one is a structured liquid gold Maison Yega dress. Or is it silver? It looks different depending on the pic and I love it. And Chloe wore a black sequined one-shoulder/sleeved David Kona dress. The dramatic makeup and feathered bottom remind me of Swan Lake.

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Photos credit: Avalon.red, Getty and Cover Images

Colin Farrell looked like a snack at the Oscars. His date was his 13-year-old son Henry! I was sorry that Colin lost! [Just Jared]
Lauren Boebert, 36, is going to be a grandmother. [Jezebel]
Blonde won Worst Picture at the Razzies. [Dlisted]
I am *not* shipping Florence Pugh & Andrew Garfield. [LaineyGossip]
Glenn Close missed the Oscars because she got Covid. [Seriously OMG]
The trailer for Summoning Sylvia. [OMG Blog]
Jenna Ortega did a good job hosting SNL. [Pajiba]
Everyone hated Florence Pugh’s duvet. [Go Fug Yourself]
A round-up of the Oscars red carpet. [RCFA]
Gisele Bundchen works the stripper pole. [Egotastic]
The most awkward moments from the Oscars. [Buzzfeed]
Everything Michelle Yeoh wore throughout the awards season. [Tom & Lorenzo]
James Norton: We, as a society, are scared of bajingos. [Towleroad]

The only joke which really landed and made me chuckle was the one about Ozempic, the diabetes drug which is being widely used/abused in Hollywood to drastically lose weight quickly. Jimmy Kimmel joked that everyone in the auditorium looked nice and “I can’t help but wonder, ‘Is Ozempic right for me?’” I bring this up because…Mindy Kaling was one of the presenters at the Oscars. She wore two Vera Wang gowns – the white one for the carpet, the black one to present. We’ve talked about how small she is these days, but her weight loss was really driven home in these dresses. Plus, the dresses are just… bad.

Janelle Monae also wore Vera Wang. Like, when did Vera Wang get so funky? Wang used to make pretty and simple gowns in pastels, stuff which looked vaguely “ice-skater princess.” Now it’s traffic-cone orange skirts and structured bustiers? This skirt is tragique, by the way, and not just because it’s orange. Janelle is so beautiful, I wish she made different style choices!

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

The Oscar producers wanted to do a mini-reunion for Four Weddings and a Funeral, so they invited Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell to present together. It’s kind of shocking that Hugh actually said yes – yes to flying to LA, yes to the Oscars, yes to walking the red carpet. Thankfully, he’s still Hugh Grant, and once he arrived on the carpet, he was ushered to Ashley Graham, who was one of ABC’s red carpet hosts. Hugh wasn’t happy. He let Ashley know he wasn’t happy by refusing to engage in the typical red-carpet banter of “who are you wearing” and “what’s your favorite part of the Oscars” and “here’s thirty seconds to promote whatever you have going on.”

As this unfolded live, you could see Hugh and Ashley figure out that they despised each other in real time. At first, I didn’t get Hugh’s “Vanity Fair” reference either – I also thought he was referencing the famous Vanity Fair Oscar party, but no, it was a literary reference to “a fair that goes on perpetually in the town of Vanity and symbolizes worldly ostentation and frivolity.” Trust Hugh Grant to reference Pilgrim’s Progress on the Oscar red carpet. Anyway, Hugh might be the worst red carpet interviewee of all time.

When he presented with Andie, he seemingly went off script a bit, trying to be charming about how Andie looks amazing: “We’re actually here to do two things. The first is to raise awareness about the vital importance of using a good moisturizer. Andie’s been wearing one every day for the last 29 years. I’ve never used one in my life…. I’m basically a scrotum.” I mean, it’s true? Hugh Grant has some dry-ass skin. Remember that miniseries he did with Nicole Kidman? He was maybe the ashiest man I’d ever seen in my life. I can’t believe he just wanders around so bitter and unmoisturized every day.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

I feel bad for Florence Pugh because I think she’s going to be on the top of a lot of worst-dressed lists today. Flo thought she served and she… didn’t. This is Valentino – a pair of black bike shorts with a shiny duvet wrap, not the chicest. The worst part, to me, wasn’t the awful dress but her styling. I feel like we’re going to get a strongly-worded Instagram about how much we hate those stupid baby bangs. Meanwhile, Miss Flo went to a pre-Oscar party this weekend and Olivia Wilde was there. They apparently took pains to avoid each other completely. Good!

Stephanie Hsu in Valentino. This Oscar nominee got her big princess moment and I thought this was the best Valentino of the night. It was an extra bonus that, when Jamie Lee Curtis won Best Supporting, basically everyone on the internet was like “if Angela Bassett had to lose, it should have been to Stephanie.” And truly, Stephanie’s role was so much more important in EEAAO. Anyway, I love this beautiful color on her. She looked beautiful and you could tell she felt beautiful too.

Emily Blunt in Valentino. First off, a lot of people were getting a vibe about Emily, right? Was the vibe just because her husband John Krasinski wasn’t her Oscar date? My vibe is not “there’s trouble in paradise.” I think John was probably just busy or he didn’t want to go to the Oscars. As for the dress… first I was meh, then I hated it, but now I’m back to meh. There was so much white on the beige carpet, and this look wasn’t the best or the worst. I wish she had been blinged out – she should have been dripping in diamonds in this simple dress.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

There were many Oscar highlights, but let’s be honest, there were many Oscar lowlights, including the nature and delivery of the telecast itself. Some people believe that what happened last year – Will Smith slapping Chris Rock live on stage – was the end of the Oscars as we know it, and the Oscars needed to go super-traditional and staid this year as a way to “get back to normal.” The people who believe that hired Jimmy Kimmel as host and gave him free reign to make “jokes” at Will Smith’s expense. Here’s his opening monologue:

“We want you to feel safe, and most importantly, we want me to feel safe, so if we have strict policies in place. If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence, at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for Best Actor and permitted to give a nineteen-minute long speech. No, but seriously, the Academy has a crisis team in place. If anything unpredictable or violent happens during the ceremony, just do what you did last year: nothing. Sit there and do absolutely nothing. Maybe even give the assailant a hug. And if any of you get mad at a joke and want to come here and get jiggy with it, it’s not gonna be easy…”

Like, he lost me completely. Criticizing last year’s audience for… not freaking out when the slap happened? When several people in the room – including the titans of Black hollywood Tyler Perry, Denzel Washington and Bradley Cooper – all took it upon themselves to manage the crisis and speak to Will to calm him down? What was supposed to happen, in Kimmel’s mind? Was supposed to tackle Will when he accepted his Oscar? Kimmel is just salty because he was one of the comics who saw Rock get slapped and thought “what if that happened to ME?” Anyway, I found it the wrong tone… especially given that no Black actors won last night and two Black actresses were notably snubbed for nominations AND Angela Bassett lost. It felt like the Academy’s lesson was “snub the f–k out of Black entertainers, make them the butt of the joke.”

Kimmel’s “bits” just kept falling flat, usually because he decided to kill time and do uncomfortable patter right after some artist of color was cut off from the mic as they tearfully tried to thank their moms. This bit with Malala Yousafzai was bad, all of this stuff in the audience was terrible.

He also brought out the donkey, Jenny, from Banshees. Do we need to have live animals at the Oscars?

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Here is our official 2023 Oscars Open Post, hosted by Brian Tyree Henry. Brian is nominated tonight in the Best Supporting Actor category for his role in Causeway. He hasn’t gotten much attention because Supporting Actor is basically the only category with a sure-thing winner: Ke Huy Quan in Everything Everywhere All At Once. Still, Brian has been enjoying his awards season and his first Oscar nomination. He recently spoke to the Hollywood Reporter about dressing for the awards season and how much he loves wearing “vibrant” colors. He also tries to support Black designers and Black-owned businesses, plus he doesn’t like wearing baggy clothes – he wants to emphasize his “curves” too. He seems like such a special guy.

The Oscars start at 8 pm EST on ABC. Here in America, we’re in the first day of Daylight Savings “spring forward,” so bear with us if we’re a bit out of sorts. This isn’t just the Open Post, it’s our live blog and we’ll update this post with winners and highlights. We’ll also be tweeting about the Oscars – you can follow me at @KaiseratCB, you can follow CB at @Celebitchy.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Entertainment Weekly ALSO did an “anonymous Oscar ballot” thing and I have to say, keep them coming. The more we expose what goes into how Academy voters vote, the more we, as a society, can say that Academy voters are terrible people. Like, there is no mystery about it – these are mostly old men being terrible and voting for people and films based on the flimsiest rationales ever. This EW piece is something else though – there is an anonymous voter included in this piece who sucks so hard, I’m making him a blind item. I need to know this bigot’s identity. We need to name and shame him. EW describes the man as an actor and “his performances in critically heralded prestige dramas, biting mainstream thrillers, and on Emmy-winning TV shows have earned this actor consistent acclaim throughout his career.” If it is Alec Baldwin, I swear to God. Please read some of the absolute horsesh-t he was saying as he filled out his ballot:

He stopped watching the Oscars before he became an Academy member: “I’d sort of stopped watching them. I was so disgusted by the whole thing, and then I got into the Academy, and now I’m forced to — so, be careful what you wish for. The whole Hollywood back-slapping, ‘get a big stinkin’ load of me,’ it’s not a newsflash, it just seems to get worse and worse. I think the Academy is making an effort to please everybody, and it’s reflective of the state of the world, but I feel like they’re being held hostage — somewhat unfairly — by the wokeness.”

He thinks it’s fine that the Academy didn’t nominate Viola Davis or Danielle Deadwyler: “When they get in trouble for not giving Viola Davis an award, it’s like, no, sweetheart, you didn’t deserve it. We voted, and we voted for the five we thought were best. It’s not fair for you to start suddenly beating a frying pan and say [they’re] ignoring Black people. They’re really not, they’re making an effort. Maybe there was a time 10 years ago when they were, but they have, of all the high-profile things, been in the forefront of wanting to be inclusive. Viola Davis and the lady director need to sit down, shut up, and relax. You didn’t get a nomination — a lot of movies don’t get nominations. Viola, you have one or two Oscars, you’re doing fine.”

He was too stupid to understand Tar: “They have their favorites, they have their pets, and if Cate Blanchett opens a door, she gets an Academy Award nomination. I feel like they bought [TÁR] hook, line, and sinker. It seemed way too long, it seemed really ham-fisted, I got very confused about, like, when she went to her assistant’s house and it was this run-down slum, like, what? What are we doing? Where are we? What’s happening? I didn’t think it was good storytelling, and with a central performance that’s inauthentic, it felt so much longer. I really struggled to get through that thing.

He hated ‘The Whale’: “[The Whale] is so pandering for an Oscar. I think he’s a very talented guy, but I didn’t buy a second of that movie. I’d seen the play, so I knew what I was in for, and somehow turning it into a movie just made the artifice look so magnified…. cheeseball from the get-go, and I didn’t even think the makeup was that good.

Again with the wokeness: “I don’t believe that thing of you have to be a murderer to play a murderer — I know it’s all the rage. You can’t play a gay guy unless you’re a gay guy — it’s so out of control with the wokeness. I’m a fervent liberal, but wokeness, I think we all agree, has taken over. I thought he was fine casting, I just wish the movie had been better.

He has a real hate-on for Cate Blanchett: “I said a little prayer during TÁR that I would never have to watch Cate Blanchett act again. I thought, this has got to be the end of this, this can’t go on. I think she’s a talented woman, but she’s so technical, she’s ice cold, and I always see her acting. The person I wanted to be in there was Judy Davis in Nitram. Astonishing. You’ve got Cate Blanchett and Judy Davis, both from Australia, and they couldn’t be more different. Cate is working it like crazy, like, get a big stinking load of me, and Judy Davis is just doing the work and knocking it out of the park every single time. I feel like Cate just wants us all to fall in love with her and be a movie star, and I’m not on board.

Jesus H.: “I thought [Ana de Armas] was really good, and there were moments in that movie where I believed she was Marilyn Monroe. She captured it so fantastically, I just hated that movie so much that I couldn’t revisit it. She was tortured and raped and victimized in every single scene. She couldn’t walk through a door without somebody raping her. [Laughs]

On Andrea Riseborough’s nomination & shutting out Davis & Deadwyler: “I feel like anything goes, all’s fair in love and war. I thought [Riseborough] gave a great performance. It was very much “for your consideration” — like, what’s going to win me an Oscar? It had all the check-boxes through it, and it seemed to be pandering a bit, so that bugged me. The ending was terrible. Good for them, they went about it and got her a nomination. I’m sure other people were doing equally political maneuverings behind the scenes, they just didn’t get caught. If it hadn’t been for Viola Davis being mad she wasn’t nominated, I don’t think anybody would’ve questioned it…. it’s ridiculous, it’s sour grapes. The Academy has bent over backwards to be inclusive. Last year, there were more Black people presenting. It’s like, come on.

HE DIDN’T EVEN WATCH THE WOMAN KING: I think Viola Davis is talented, I didn’t see Woman King, but I’m a little tired of Viola Davis and her snotty crying. I’m over all of that. I’m willing to believe that Andrea Riseborough gave a better performance. [Danielle Deadwyler] was so pandering [in Till] for an Academy Award nomination. She was good. I mean, who wouldn’t be good in a part like that? The strong, wronged mother. But you look at the real Mamie Till, she’s not wearing all of these incredible gowns and beautifully made-up. I thought it was a confusing message. If they’d really [made a movie about] that woman, who was not used to being in the public eye and wore house dresses, she [wouldn’t have] had one incredible outfit after another. The ego behind this pushing her to be a movie star was too blatant for me.

[From EW]

Do you see what I mean? Please, someone do some digging and find the identity of this utter douchebag. He is contemptible. I’ve already seen some suggestions that this could be Brian Cox? No, I doubt it? Brian Cox can be rude and “politically incorrect,” but I don’t see Cox saying all of this racist sh-t about Viola Davis and The Woman King, nor do I see him laughing when talking about the rape scenes in Blonde. “The Academy has bent over backwards to be inclusive. Last year, there were more Black people presenting. It’s like, come on.” For the love of God. And dismissively referring to Viola as “sweetheart” and calling Gina Prince-Bythewood “the lady director” – utter POS.

are you normal or have you spent the entire morning trying to figure out who the piece of shit anonymous actor is in this ew oscar ballot with your coworkers?? https://t.co/kZlfmjqfa0

— saloni gajjar (@saloni_g) March 10, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, promotional images courtesy of ‘The Woman King’ and ‘To Leslie’.