The royal reporters and royal commentators are quite obviously still obsessed with Prince Harry and Meghan. We’re past the one-year anniversary of H&M’s Sussexit announcement, and I genuinely believe the theory that most of the royal reporters have seen their Sussex sources dry up as Harry and Meghan clearly have a lockdown on information about what they’re doing and who they’re speaking to. Which has left the British tabloids to find ways to make up stories about their golden geese. Last week, I wondered what was up with the influx of gossip about how the Sussexes are thinking about getting a book deal, because it doesn’t actually seem like they’re trying for that at all. Now the Daily Mail’s Talk of the Town column has a story about a “book deal” which was basically extrapolated from a trademark filing. That’s it.

Actress, campaigner, philanthropist, podcaster, television producer, Royal trailblazer – is there anything Meghan Markle can’t do? Now word reaches me that she appears to be planning to follow in the footsteps of Prince Charles and Sarah Ferguson by trying her hand at fiction writing. Meghan has moved to secure legal protection that will allow her to pen novels via Archewell, the foundation she’s set up with Prince Harry.

Could we see tomes to rival Fergie’s Budgie The Little Helicopter or Charles’s The Old Man Of Lochnagar? Lawyers in the US are poring over the couple’s application to trademark the good cause, which they named after their son, Archie.

One clause they are trying to secure with the US Patent and Trademark Office seeks the right to pen ‘fiction and non-fiction books on a variety of topics’ under the Archewell brand, as well as produce ‘general feature magazines and printed periodicals’.

My source tells me: ‘Meghan has some experience as a writer and used to have a popular blog called The Tig before she met Harry that covered health, travel, food and fashion. Fiction is something she has always wanted to try her hand at, and she could be assured that anything she writes would sell well, regardless of its quality. Fiction, be it children’s books or adult, would be a powerful way of conveying the messages of their woke brand.’

[From The Daily Mail]

A source who really had inside knowledge of the Sussexes would never use the term “woke brand.” The source is a British person talking out of their ass. Now, that being said… I don’t see Meghan and Harry getting some Obama-like book deal, nor do I think Meghan is secretly working on a novel. I could see Meghan doing another cookbook – likely for charity – and I could see her doing a children’s book. But that’s basically it.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

I am gaining weight. I hate it. I haven’t been to the gym in two months because I’m scared of being indoors with maskless people as the coronavirus infection rates spike all around the country. So I walk and hike and just leave it at that. But yeah, I’ve gained weight. I can feel it on my body and I hate it. I’m trying to take the long view and I think about how grateful I am that I didn’t have the virus (or at least, I was never symptomatic if I did have it) and how grateful I am that I survived the Trump years. The past four years have been full of so much trauma and if the worst thing that happened to me is that I’ve gained 15-20 pounds, so be it. I also take solace in the fact that I’m not alone, that many people have been gaining weight as their diets go to hell and their workout schedules are destroyed. So it is for Blake Shelton, who wants to lose 10 pounds before he marries Gwen Stefani.

Blake Shelton is ready to get serious about his wedding look! The 44-year-old singer popped the question in October to his longtime love, Gwen Stefani. The “Minimum Wage” singer recently appeared on the Apple Music radio show Party Barn Radio With Luke Bryan where he opened up to his pal about his desire to shed weight ahead of his wedding day to Stefani, 51.

“Scale of 1 to 10, Blake Shelton, [will you] you lose 20 pounds for your wedding?” Bryan asked his pal.

“I feel like if I say 10 I have to do it, so 10,” Shelton replied. “It’s out there now so I can’t let people down.”

About his quarantine weight gain, Shelton admitted that his new look isn’t making him feel great. “I’ve readjusted all the mirrors in the house so they look like when you’re taking a selfie from up above because I can’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror,” he quipped. “So I’ve rearranged them where they’re kind of angled down looking down at me and it’s not so bad.”

And while he’s not so confident about his look, Shelton does seem self-assured that Stefani will make it down the aisle to be his bride. “I’m going with a 10, buddy. I’ve got confidence,” he insisted when asked whether Stefani would go through with the wedding.

Shelton also said that he’d been dodging Bryan’s texts because of Stefani’s adherence to COVID-19 safety procedures. “She’s very strong about this quarantine thing, which is great… She’s the only person I get to see so, that’s it. No buddy hanging out time,” Shelton said. “When you’re a prideful, stubborn guy like myself for me to text you back and say, ‘Man, Gwen won’t let me go.’ That’s tough. It’s embarrassing.”

[From ET]

“I can’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror.” I feel that. I’ve gained weight in my face! That’s where it goes – my face, my ass, my thighs and my stomach. And I hate it all. I bet Blake gains it all in his midsection and face too. Still, it will be easier for him to lose weight because he’s a dude and it’s always easier for dudes to lose weight. As for the other stuff… Blake is kind of douche, blaming Gwen for… adhering to social distancing protocols and sh-t. It’s 2021, why are men still doing the “my old ball and chain said I can’t hang out with my bros, what a witch” thing?

Photos courtesy of social media, Avalon Red.

Amie! Happy Birthday from Natalie who hopes this year that you cook a lot, read a lot, travel a lot, and that you get to see BTS win the Grammy! Here’s your bias, RM, and the bias assassin himself, Suga. Seriously, Yoongi in these boots is pretty destructive:

The trailer for Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ final season has been released. This is their 20th season, after 14 years of filming, and we’re not even counting all of their spinoff shows over the years. The trailer is notable, to me, because of Kim’s Botox Cryface, which is always funny to me. She’s legit emotional though – she loaded up her family on her ass and made them all famous.

One of the other takeaways – beyond Kim’s cryface – is that clip of Khloe Kardashian telling Tristan Thompson that she’s ready to have a second child. Tristan cheated on her with multiple women for years, and they’re not living together at all and he’s moved out of LA to play for the Celtics and Khloe has no plans to move to Boston. But sure, she wants another kid with him:

Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson are ready for a new chapter together! In a new trailer for Keeping Up With the Kardashians, which dropped on Thursday, Jan. 28, the Good American founder tells the Boston Celtics player that she wants to expand their family. That’s right, it appears the duo is hoping to give 2-year-old True Thomspon a sibling.

As she tells Tristan in the sneak peek, “I just feel like it’s now time to have another kid.”

An insider echoes the same sentiments as the 36-year-old star and tells E! News exclusively that the couple, who rekindled their romance just three months ago, “are on the same page and both want another baby.”

“Khloe knows the value of siblings and growing up in a house full of kids and she wants that for True,” the insider shares, adding, “It’s something they have been working on for a while.”

While it’s unclear how soon the pair wants to bring another little one into the world, the source notes just how involved the 29-year-old NBA player has been during this time. “Tristan is very supportive of Khloe and making this happen. He goes with her to doctor’s appointments and listens to her feelings. He’s very involved and invested in the future of their family together.”

[From E! News]

Tristan is “very supportive of Khloe” – is he though? I mean, I guess Tristan just figures, why not? It’s not like he’ll be around. Khloe knows that too. I guess she’s just obsessed with the idea of having babies with the same father, like Kim and Kourtney did, even when their relationships and marriages were never built on solid ground. Anyway, whatever. It’s Khloe’s choice but they’re both so dumb for forcing this weird relationship to exist.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, WENN and Instagram.

This week, we discussed the topic which has been all over the political, financial and online worlds: the Reddit small investors who successfully gamed the system to screw over billionaire hedge-funds. The hedge funds had shorted the stocks of several failing companies like GameStop, only to see small investors organize on Reddit to mass-invest in those stocks, inflating the stock prices and causing hedge funds to lose billions in a matter of days. Many of the Reddit small investors were using the Robinhood platform to invest. But then as soon as the hedge fund billionaires began to weep on their yachts, suddenly all of those stock trading platforms were pulling the plug on trading:

Several retail stockbrokers, including Robinhood, said they would allow trades of GameStop and other volatile companies after restricting customers’ ability to purchase securities earlier in the day.

“Starting tomorrow, we plan to allow limited buys of these securities,” Robinhood, a popular trading app, said. “We’ll continue to monitor the situation and may make adjustments as needed.”

Robinhood, which has attracted millions of millennials to trade on its platform by eliminating trading fees and making stock trading easy, had said Thursday morning that it would limit buying of the kinds of securities that have sparked an enormous rally in shares of GameStop, the video game retailer at the heart of the frenzy, and AMC Entertainment Holdings, the movie theater chain, and a number of other companies. The decision quickly drew fire.

[From The NY Times]

The billionaires are big mad that the “little guy” is gaming the system in the same way the billionaires do regularly. That’s it, at it’s most basic level. And instead of taking the L and writing off some billion-dollar losses, those hedge funds exerted pressure on Robinhood and other trading platforms to change the rules mid-game.

As you can imagine, elected officials like AOC and Elizabeth Warren have been using their platforms to explain what’s happening and why additional regulation is needed, and why there should be hearings and investigations into what’s happened this week. Robinhood’s decision to halt trading on GameStop has turned everyone into a populist – on this somewhat narrow issue, AOC, Ted Cruz and Don Trump Jr find themselves agreeing. But when Ted Cruz agreed with AOC on Twitter, she told him to go f–k himself (atta girl).

Fully agree. ? https://t.co/rW38zfLYGh

— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) January 28, 2021

I am happy to work with Republicans on this issue where there’s common ground, but you almost had me murdered 3 weeks ago so you can sit this one out.

Happy to work w/ almost any other GOP that aren’t trying to get me killed.

In the meantime if you want to help, you can resign. https://t.co/4mVREbaqqm

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) January 28, 2021

“We need healing + unity, but I will not take any responsibility for my actions, nor will I acknowledge the contributions my lies made to the violence or the harm that it caused, nor do I believe anyone should be held accountable. But if you’re mad at that you’re divisive.” – GOP

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) January 28, 2021

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Dear Gossips, You may have noticed a headline this week about Gillian Anderson after she appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers and they played a behind-the-scenes video from the set of The Crown when, during a break from filming, she and Olivia Colman, along with other cast and crew, did a choreog…

I’ll admit that I have found a certain amount of amusement in the Phil Collins/Orienne Cevey breakup drama. I’m not always one for karma, but Phil has a history of bad behavior when it comes to his exes, and he did take Orienne back, while she was still married to some else, even after she dragged him through the courts during their own divorce in 2006. So when Orienne got mad at Phil for objecting to her affair and retaliated by secretly getting married, stealing his house and refusing to give it back, yeah, I saw a few jokes to make. But this is one angle I really don’t find funny. Orienne and her husband, Thomas Bates, have finally moved out of Phil’s mansion and now they are auctioning a bunch of Phil’s music memorabilia.

Phil Collins’ ex-wife Orianne Cevey is selling off the singer’s gold records and awards for a song.

Cevey — who has been going through a long series of bitter legal proceedings with the pop icon over his multimillion-dollar Miami manse — is auctioning off a number of items that no longer “spark joy” — including Collins’ gold records for just $100.

Last year the 69-year-old “Sussudio” singer su-sued to evict Cevey and her current husband, Thomas Bates, from the property.

In October, Cevey agreed to leave the $40 million house by January 21 per a partial settlement. Now that Cevey has moved out, she’s put a number of items up for auction with Kodner Galleries.

A gold record of Robert Plant’s “The Principle of Moments,” which was presented to Collins because it was released by his label, Es Paranza, is currently going for a mere $100. A lot containing “Assorted Phil Collins Awards” is also at $100.

[From Page Six via DListed]

Phil has been worried about this since the beginning. He warned the courts during the eviction process that he had priceless items in that house that couldn’t be replaced if these grifters decided to make off with them in the middle of the night. When Orienne and Thomas showed up at the house after tying the knot, she and Phil got into a “confrontation.” Phil left so as not to give her any ammunition in court. He fully intended to pack up the house two weeks after he left. He never anticipated these two to become armed squatters. In addition to all his music trophies, Phil has millions of dollars’ worth of artifacts intended for his collection at The Alamo Museum. So far none of those items are on the auction block. I hope she didn’t get her hands on any of them.

Orienne is also auctioning off a bunch of her stuff. According to her rep, she’s moved to a smaller home (no word on whom she stole this house from) and wants to downsize her belongings, including some of the 5,000 pairs of shoes she owns. She is also getting rid of Chanel bags, a bunch of Rolexes, a vintage stamp collection and jewels. The rep said, “Orianne found organizing the move very cathartic and went very Marie Kondo and got rid of a number of items that no longer sparked joy for her.” Points for the passive aggressive swipe at her beleaguered ex but question: aren’t those gold records and awards their sons’ legacy too? All of this spite by unloading Phil’s lifetime of work is hurting more than Phil. According to the article, the Never Give Up Foundation that benefits kids with muscular dystrophy will receive 10% of the proceeds from the auction so at least someone benefits from this mess. And although I will be happy for the foundation, A) I’ll believe it when I see the actual deposit and B) It won’t buy Orienne back her soul.

As for the legalities of what’s happening, none of it sounds right to me but I’m sure if something is crossing a legal line, Phil has his team on it. I guess we’ll just wait to see how this all plays out.

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Photo credit: Instagram and Getty Images

The Duchess of Cambridge did a Zoom call with parents this week, and the subject was home-schooling in the pandemic, and parenting struggles in general. The other parents in the group have kids in the Roe Green Junior School, which is a school Kate visited three years ago to launch “Mentally Healthy Schools.” The parents were asked to write down words or answers to questions like “rate your math skills” and “what one word describes being a parent during the pandemic.”

For the math question, Kate wrote “-5? and joked “I’m obviously right at the bottom!” Which… her kids are small, the most George is doing right now is probably addition and subtraction, right? Maybe multiplication tables? It’s not like he’s in AP Calculus (true story, I aced AP Calculus!!). For the one word that best described parenting during the pandemic, Kate wrote “Exhausting.” I mean, I believe that her schedule is all out of whack with three small kids at home, but nanny Maria is there and the Cambridges literally have loads of staff who are still working – at times virtually – during the pandemic. Kate said, “As parents, we have day-to-day elements of being a parent, but, I suppose, during lockdown we’ve had to take on additional roles that others in our community and lives would have helped us with.”

Kate also said “I have become a hairdresser in lockdown – much to my children’s horror!” As a child, my mom traumatized me by cutting my hair, which explains my hatred of bangs. I wonder how Kate is traumatizing her kids about their hair? Here’s a little bit more:

Kate also told the group that her husband Prince William has been the biggest support to her during the pandemic. It was clearly the right response – as other parents answered their partners and other family members. “We don’t want it to be Bridgerton or something like that, do we?” quipped Loosemore.

As for parental loneliness, Kate said: “I know how challenging it is juggling work, home life, school life and everything else that you as parents are doing, so really well done. Fingers crossed, let’s hope for the positivity as you’ve all been saying. Make sure everyone looks after themselves — it’s very hard to prioritize but it’s definitely needed now more than ever. It’s important for our children that we look after ourselves too.”

[From People]

Kate didn’t confirm or deny that she’s watched Bridgerton, but I think it’s funny that a Netflix show got name-checked in her discussion, especially after all of that drama with Harry and Meghan’s Netflix deal, and The Crown. As for Kate’s Just-Like-Us normal-mum efforts, I think she was fine, honestly. I think it’s interesting that it still sounds like William just… isn’t there, physically or emotionally. Lockdown rose bushes must have been calling his name.

Photos courtesy of Kensington Palace, Backgrid.

The great state of Georgia gave us Stacey Abrams, the Biden presidency and control of the US Senate when Georgians voted for Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff. Unfortunately, in the same election cycle, Georgia voters in the northwest corridor also voted for freshman congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene. Greene ran unopposed for her congressional seat after her opponent dropped out for personal reasons in September. It’s possible that the DNC did not want to put any resources into trying to win a congressional district which is overwhelmingly white and which went for Trump by a huge double-digit margin. That being said, I definitely feel like Georgia’s local media, the national media and the RNC should have all done a better job of vetting Greene during the damn election, because holy sh-t, this woman is f–king bonkers and she’s going to kill someone.

To recap, Greene is an unhinged conspiracist and a traitor. She rolls with QAnon, she believes in all of the “false flag” conspiracies and she harasses victims of gun violence and their families. She’s a 9/11 truther. She wants to carry weapons in the Capitol. She played a role in the incitement of the Jan. 6th insurrection. She wants to see elected Democrats murdered. And she also believes that California wildfires were started by a Jewish Space Laser.

In November 2018, California was hit with the worst wildfire in the state’s history. At the time, future Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) wrote a bizarre Facebook post that echoed QAnon conspiracy theorists and falsely claimed that the real and hidden culprit behind the disaster was a laser from space triggered by some nefarious group of people.

The Camp Fire was a horrific California wildfire that started on November 8, 2018, and, according to the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection, “burned a total of 153,336 acres, destroying 18,804 structures and resulting in 85 civilian fatalities and several firefighter injuries. The Camp Fire is the deadliest and most destructive fire in California history.” After an investigation, the department “determined that the Camp Fire was caused by electrical transmission lines owned and operated by Pacific Gas and Electricity (PG&E) located in the Pulga area.” Scientists have noted that climate change has worsened wildfires in places like California.

Conspiracy theorists have pushed other explanations for the Camp Fire, especially on social media. One theory, which has been promoted by QAnon followers, falsely posits that a nefarious entity used laser beams or a similar instrument to start the fire for financial profit or to clear space for California’s high-speed rail system.

Rep. Greene is a proponent of the Camp Fire laser beam conspiracy theory. She wrote a November 17, 2018, Facebook post — which is no longer available online — in which she said that she was speculating “because there are too many coincidences to ignore” regarding the fire, including that then-California Gov. Jerry Brown (D) wanted to build the high-speed rail project and “oddly there are all these people who have said they saw what looked like lasers or blue beams of light causing the fires.” She also speculated that a vice chairman at “Rothschild Inc, international investment banking firm” was somehow involved, and suggested the fire was caused by a beam from “space solar generators.”

Greene added: “If they are beaming the suns energy back to Earth, I’m sure they wouldn’t ever miss a transmitter receiving station right??!! I mean mistakes are never made when anything new is invented. What would that look like anyway? A laser beam or light beam coming down to Earth I guess. Could that cause a fire? Hmmm, I don’t know. I hope not! That wouldn’t look so good for PG&E, Rothschild Inc, Solaren or Jerry Brown who sure does seem fond of PG&E.”

[From Media Matters]

Why believe in global warming, droughts and everyday corporate malfeasance and legislative apathy/incompetence when you can believe in a super-cool theory that Jewish bankers formed a kabal (it’s always a nefarious kabal) to build a space laser and they succeeded in building a space laser, and then they decided to help out Jerry Brown – and I’m sure San Francisco Democrat Nancy Pelosi too! – to build a high-speed rail, so they decided to use their space laser to set fire to 153,336 acres in California. I mean, why not? Jesus Christ, this woman needs to be out on her ass.

Embed from Getty Images

Photos courtesy of Getty, Avalon Red.

I’ll be honest, even as I was covering the Sasha Exeter-Jessica Mulroney drama last summer, I believed Jessica would be able to “come back” pretty easily. I mean, she has money and access and powerful friends. All she had to do was be quiet for six months, then apologize thoroughly and begin to move on. That’s it. And it probably wouldn’t have even taken six months! But Jessica was incapable of both shutting up and offering a sincere apology, which made her completely self-imposed melodrama so much worse. Even if you believed Jessica deserved the benefit of the doubt in June, by November, everyone was sick of her self-absorbed, bratty Karen act.

To recap, the whole thing started last June, when Instagram influencer Sasha Exeter was using her social media for a call to action on Black Lives Matter and racial justice. In Sasha’s version of events, Jessica took it personally that Sasha was encouraging other influencers to use their platforms similarly, and they began DMing, texting and emailing an increasingly hostile back-and-forth which ended when Jessica threatened Sasha’s livelihood if Sasha made any of their conversation public. Well, after Jessica’s November interview with the National Post fell flat as a f–king pancake, Jessica is at it again. This time she went to a “friendly” columnist at the same outlet, the National Post, and provided the alleged paper trail between herself and Exeter. The NP columnist used the email and text trail to declare that Mulroney is completely exonerated from the crime of being a racist brat. *deep sigh*

Jessica Mulroney turned over eight printed-out pages of what she says are her private correspondence with Sasha Exeter to Canada’s National Post in an effort to tell more of her side of the story…Though Exeter has not commented on the Post story, the paper has published what they claim to be the entirety of the correspondence between the two women, beginning on May 31, when Exeter apparently took offense to Mulroney posting a Martin Luther King Jr. quote on her Instagram, as the worldwide protests that followed the death of George Floyd were building.

“You have a large following and should be posting about BLM, not promoting your show,” Exeter writes. Mulroney replies, “I’ve spoken out about racism before. I believe that the real work needs to be teaching my children, doing work behind the scenes.” The next day, Exeter says that she “can’t find the words” to express her displeasure in the stylist’s belief that fighting racism “behind the scenes” is enough, adding, “I am deeply disappointed in the response. But your response will be discussed with my community and followers. If you cannot be uncomfortable for a few minutes and fear what people will say to you, just imagine how ppl [sic] of color have felt their entire lives. It is a cop out. It is cowardly. It is sad and pathetic.”

The pair then apparently spoke on the phone before moving their conversation from DM to text, in which Mulroney compares promoting her TV show to Exeter posting her own sponsored content, to which Exeter replies, “…don’t ever compare yourself to me. Ever.… Don’t ever compare yourself to me. Especially right now.” After a few more days of back-and-forth, Mulroney—who claimed to the Post that she was “fearful of where Sasha’s anger will take her”—attempts an apology. “I had a moment to think and I want to apologize,” she writes. “I was wrong. Comparing myself to you was wrong and what you are doing is all the good the world needs. I will do better and be better.”

Exeter then sends her final message, telling Mulroney, “Your comments in yesterday’s text thread are so problematic, you have no idea. It’s textbook Amy Cooper.” (Two days later she posted her Instagram video about the back-and-forth, calling it “My ‘Amy Cooper’ Experience.”) It was when Exeter stopped responding that Mulroney sent the message that Exeter would eventually use as an accusation. After writing, “Your silence is understood. We don’t always do it the right way. But we learn from our mistakes. Take care,” Mulroney followed up with, “If you go to the press over this nonsense and threaten to go to your followers, I won’t be afraid to go to brands and tell them what you are doing to me.”

Mulroney apologized again after that message, despite telling the outlet she “is still unsure what her mistake is or was,” but the damage, it seems, was done. (Exeter did not respond to Vanity Fair’s request for comment.) Though the newly published messages don’t necessarily reveal anything new about Mulroney, Exeter, or their falling-out, the National Post seems eager to paint it as a full exoneration for Mulroney. “Jessica Mulroney is innocent of the moral crimes she has been so unjustly charged with,” the writer, Barbara Kay, concludes.

[From Vanity Fair]

My blood pressure spiked at “Mulroney—who claimed to the Post that she was ‘fearful of where Sasha’s anger will take her’.” No, really, Jessica really thought she was doing something here, didn’t she? Don’t get me wrong, I think Sasha had frayed nerves (as did so many) and she was looking to challenge someone. But Jessica DID threaten Sasha. And Jessica is still leaning so heavily into the racist tropes. Her story is still some version of “The Angry Black Woman Made Me Cry White Tears!” Which is what her argument was back in June too!!

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.