Here are some photos from last night’s Berlin Film Festival premiere of Fifty Shades of Grey. I was going to bitch about the studio using the Berlinale as a premiere launch for this terrible movie, but I’m pretty sure that the Berlin Film Festival organizers don’t mind that much. Sure, they’re screen your terrible film. Who cares? Fashion notes: Dakota Johnson is wearing a relatively simple (and buttony) Dior gown which I shockingly do not hate. Sam Taylor Johnson is wearing Stella McCartney and I don’t hate that either. What is the world coming to?! I’ll even admit that Dakota and Jamie Dornan look very nice and matchy standing next to each other. E.L. James even looks nice too.

Dakota and Jamie also did a photoshoot with W Magazine, but I’m not going to publish those photos because they’re pretty p0rny. You can see the NSFW pics here. Dakota’s facial expressions totally ruin it, although Jamie isn’t helping a sister out. He looks bored to tears in every single photo. Dakota just looks… blank. Like a doll with terrible bangs.

Meanwhile, E.L. James has a new interview with the New York Times and some of the quotes are absolutely priceless. You can read the full piece here, and here are some highlights:

Why she fought so hard for her vision of the story: “I was thinking about the readers…I understand what it’s like to be in fandom. I had to fight for a lot of things really hard. And I did.”

The hardest part about adapting her book for a film: “My biggest concern was making sure that the sex was really classy and tasteful. It’s very coyly written in the books. Women don’t like salacious slang. So that was really important to me, to keep it tasteful.”

Fighting for particular details to be included: “Well, the Red Room (of Pain), for example, wasn’t red at first. But it’s things like this, within any creative process, when you’re the auteur of a whole universe, and then, you’re spreading it out … it’s not always going to be aligned with how you saw it. But beneath it all, I was just hoping that we’d have something that the fans would be happy with.”

There’s more to the story than sex: “Absolutely! But you guys, the media, are all about the sex. The fact is, it’s a love story, and women respond to the love story. The fact that there’s a little bit of kinky sex in there is sort of like an added bonus. It’s just become sensationalized, because it’s like … Oh my God, women like sex. Yes we do, thank you very much!”

The book is successful everywhere… “Except in Japan. It’s doing OK in Japan, but women don’t talk to each other there. They’re so private about what goes on in the bedroom. That was interesting.”

[From The NY Times]

The audacity of this woman to refer to herself as “the auteur of a whole universe.” Good God, woman. This is just poorly written Twihard fan-fiction. And this whole section: “…making sure that the sex was really classy and tasteful. It’s very coyly written in the books. Women don’t like salacious slang.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Photos courtesy of WENN.