A few weeks ago, I chanced upon a somewhat recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the dumbest soap opera of our times. In the episode, the Kardashian sisters were launching their subscription apps, only Kourtney’s app wasn’t ready because she totally phoned in the planning sessions and didn’t attend the meetings about it. Khloe and Kim were like “well, that’s on you, Kourtney.” The vibe I got was that after all these years, Kourtney does next to nothing for Brand Kardashian, and her sisters are really tired of her bullsh-t. Personally, I can barely work up the energy to care about Kourtney, she’s such a nothingburger. But I guess there’s some kind of feud heating up between Kourtney and her sisters?

The Kardashian sisters are not letting go of their drama. Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian continued to argue on Twitter during the season 15 premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians on Sunday, August 5. In the episode, Kim, 37, was upset with Kourtney, 39, for not blocking enough time in her schedule for a photo shoot for their family’s Christmas card. She called her eldest sibling “the least exciting to look at” and “the most f–king entitled person on the planet,” to which Kourtney replied, “You’re a very distraught, evil human being.”

As the heated feud played out on TV, Kourtney tweeted, “We all have our own priorities. Mine is being a mother.” Kim quickly responded, “And mine is not? The shoot was with our kids!!!!! My #1 priority is being a mother as well and I can work too, so can you!”

Kourtney then replied, “And i do. But i wasn’t wanting MORE work, i already felt spread thin. Being a good mother also has different meaning to each of us. You’re an amazing mother, I’m not taking that away from you.”

Kourtney told her 23.4 million followers that watching her argument with Kim “actually gives me chills.” She added, “It’s not normal to have to relive this stuff.” When one fan pointed out that the sisters typically support each other no matter what, Kourtney replied, “We’re ride or die. But i don’t accept the way we criticize and judge each other anymore. My personal growth doesn’t allow it.”

[From Us Weekly]

I saw the “Kourtney is the least exciting to look at” headline a few days ago and it made me laugh, because sometimes Kim says something so bitchy and insightful, it actually gives ME chills. That being said, I hate what Kim tweeted about “My #1 priority is being a mother as well and I can work too, so can you!” It doesn’t work that way, Kim. Kourtney just wants to raise her children and date her young guy and not participate in all of this sh-t. Which is fine – just go ahead and kick her out of the family, that’s what I say. Don’t even put Kourtney in the show.

Ha, this fight looks amazing. Um, Team Kim???

Photos courtesy of WENN.

“Buzzzzzz! Happy birthday to one intelligent, lovely, funny and adventurous b! This year has been full of trials but please know that you have the strength and support that you need to break through to the other side: you are enough and worth everything you dream of. Can’t wait to toast you and ring…

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Here’s your political post of the day, some might even call it a “political briefing,” if you want to receive “briefings” from a celebrity gossip blogger. Today is election day in some parts of the country, so remember to VOTE. Especially Ohioans, you peeps really need to vote your asses off. Meanwhile, Paul Manafort’s trial is going at a steady clip and it’s already been quite… exciting. Manafort’s former business partner Rick Gates totally rolled on him:

Rick Gates — the star witness against President Trump’s former campaign chairman — admitted in federal court Monday that he committed a host of crimes with his former boss, and confessed to stealing from him and others. In his first hour on the witness stand, Gates catalogued years of illegal activity, saying most of his wrongdoing was committed on behalf of his former boss, Paul Manafort, while other crimes were for his own benefit, including the theft of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Gates also made clear that he was testifying against Manafort with the hope of receiving a lesser prison sentence, having pleaded guilty in February as part of a deal with special counsel Robert S. Mueller III.

Manafort’s trial in Alexandria, Va., is the first to arise out of the Mueller probe and marks a major public test of that investigation’s credibility. Mueller’s team is investigating Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election and whether any Trump associates conspired with those efforts.

[From WaPo]

It “marks a major public test of that investigation’s credibility…” Except that the overwhelming majority of people believe in what Bob Mueller is doing and believe that there is a shady Trump-Russia connection. Let me put it this way: more people believe that Trump is Putin’s puppet than believe Trump is doing a good job as president.

Speaking of the orange one, he tweeted this yesterday:

California wildfires are being magnified & made so much worse by the bad environmental laws which aren’t allowing massive amounts of readily available water to be properly utilized. It is being diverted into the Pacific Ocean. Must also tree clear to stop fire from spreading!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 6, 2018

I saw one comment which was basically “pity the science advisor who tried to explain any of this to him.” He literally has no idea how water works, how fire works, how any of this works. California is in the midst of a natural disaster and he’s trying to score some cheap, bad-science political points.

What else? Jared Kushner is a little snowflake who got the New York Observer to delete articles which were critical of himself and his friends. And I saved the worst one for last: Stephen Miller still has plans to target naturalized citizens and legal immigrants who are in the process of becoming citizens. This story is so depressing, I can’t even excerpt from it. It’s awful.

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Photos courtesy of Getty.

Dear Gossips,

Tonight is the Hollywood premiere of Crazy Rich Asians. I’m getting emotional just anticipating this carpet, what that carpet will look like, seeing the arrival of Asian actor after Asian actor, repping the first all-Asian English-language film by a major Hollywood studio in 25 yea…

John Kraskinski is starring in Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan, an Amazon Prime original series which is coming out on August 31. It’s not my type of show but I’m a Prime member and it’s free so I’ll give it a chance. I think that’s part of the reason streaming services are coming out with so much original content – people are more willing to give those shows a chance. Krasinski covers the August edition of Men’s Health. Jack Ryan is a badass CIA analyst, so he of course kept fit for that role, although I would imagine most CIA analysts aren’t half as buff. He talked about his fitness and training regimen. He tries to stay fit enough that he can get into shape within just three weeks for any role, which sounds like a tough order. He also opened up about his career and personal philosophy.

On his career after The Office
“Jim is one of those things that, I know, at the end of my career, I’ll still be most known for. And that’s awesome. That’s an honor. But I wanted to try different things. I wanted to set myself up to explore things that were scary, and things I wasn’t sure I was going to be good at.”

On getting buff for 13 Hours in 2016
“When I went out for Captain America, people were like, ‘Really?’ Then I did 13 Hours, and people are like, ‘Okay, yeah, you can do these roles now.’ I’m like, ‘You don’t care about the acting? You just care about the physical shape?’ And they’re like, ‘Correct.’ “Not to get into the whole regime, but on 13 Hours, I did it for the role, and then I definitely got addicted to it. I take periods off. I remember my trainer saying, ‘Try to stay within three weeks, so that whatever part you get, within three weeks we can get you down.’ That’s the goal, to be able to shift back and forth. I think that’s better than saying, ‘Stay ripped your whole life.’ Because that’s really annoying, and the people who do it really easily annoy me. Yes, I’m talking to you, Chris Hemsworth.

He was second choice for Captain America
“Yes, I put on the suit. Yes, I did the screen test. But I knew they’d offered it to Chris [Evans] like four times, and eventually I got the call. ‘Chris is engaging.’ And I was like, ‘Of course he is! Look at that dude. He is Captain America!’ It’s the way I was brought up—I’ve always been a realist and I respect the situation. You can’t fight against things you can’t control. I remember we were on our way to a party for Emily’s birthday when I found out. I hung up the phone and [told her], ‘Yeah, it’s not me.’ She was like, ‘Do you want to cancel?’ And I said, ‘No, let’s go.’ ”

On how fitness has helped him
“I think mentally, it’s cleared my head for things like directing and producing. Staying really busy. If I didn’t work out a few times a week, I would start to overanalyze. It definitely takes me out of myself for a minute. And it gives me my best ideas. Your brain definitely works better when it’s all lubed up with endorphins and sweat and blood.”

His wife helped him keep perspective after A Quiet Place
“I said to Emily, ‘There’s no greater gift that the universe could have given me than to go through the biggest success of my career and I don’t have to explain to you how it felt.’ We were both in the boat. I said to her, ‘I don’t know if it can ever be like this again.’

“And—again, leave it to Emily, who is better at everything than me—she goes, ‘It can’t.’ She just so perfectly encapsulated it. ‘It can’t be like this again, and it shouldn’t. So take this and put it on a mantel, this really special treasure that we experienced together. And now go out and do something else.’”

[From Men’s Health]

I really like the way that Emily phrased that answer, that life changes and it won’t be this way again. I’ve been half studying Buddhism as I need some kind of spiritual outlook besides “everything sucks and we’re going to die.” Emily’s advice, that of course this won’t last, sounds similar to the Four Noble Truths, that life is suffering, that everything changes, and that we shouldn’t cling to the things we want. Of course I’m probably misinterpreting this, but it has helped me cope with some stuff and to realize my situation is not unique. Also exercise has helped too. Sometimes I’ll eat an entire bag of jelly beans to get through the day but at least I jump around enough afterwards to clear my head.

photos credit: WENN and Men’s Health

I actually debated whether I was giving Kendall Jenner too much benefit of the doubt when I covered the story about Kendall’s Doberman possibly nipping at a little girl at a restaurant in LA. Apparently, this is some kind of hot-button debate about the responsibility of dog owners versus the responsibility of parents. There will always be mistakes on both sides, and I could only speak as a former dog owner, and as someone who thinks it’s irresponsible parenting to not give your children the basics about how to approach strange animals. That being said, it’s absolutely irresponsible dog ownership to simply flee the situation if and when your dog gets involved in some kind of incident, which is what Kendall was accused of by TMZ’s sources. Apparently, there was a little more to the story though:

An incident involving Kendall Jenner‘s dog prompted a call to police over the weekend. An officer of public information with the Los Angeles Police Department confirms to PEOPLE that cops were called on Sunday over an alleged dog bite at the Beverly Glen Deli. According to the officer, it was determined to be a civil matter and police are not involved.

A source tells PEOPLE Jenner’s dog was “startled” but never made contact with the child and “did not bite anyone.”

“The police and emergency services did not come to the scene,” the source says. “Kendall didn’t leave until she knew the dog didn’t bite the little girl.”

[From People]

E! News also had a story where an eyewitness said “the dog didn’t actually bite the girl, he just scared her, causing her to cry. The eyewitness shares that the dog made a growling sound as the girl approached and lunged toward her, but didn’t actually bite her.” Kendall and her boyfriend Ben Simmons were sitting outside of the Beverly Glen Deli when the girl approached the dog. An insider also told E! News that the little girl’s mother ran inside to call 911 and the mom was described as “somewhat hysterical” as she told the operator “Kendall Jenner’s dog bit my daughter.” A lunging dog who doesn’t make physical contact with a child is not the same as nipping at a kid. It sounds like both the dog and the kid were quite scared of each other, honestly, and the whole thing became a massive incident because it involved Kendall Jenner.

Someone tweeted at Kendall: “Add this to the growing list of reasons why @KendallJenner is a disturbingly despicable, entitled, unsympathetic, sadistic, uncharitable and self-absorbed human being who doesn’t deserve to be idolized. (Yes, I went there.).” That tweet was deleted, but not before both Kendall and Kim Kardashian responded:

oof i’m sorry you feel that way. hope to meet you one day to show you the real me, maybe i’ll tell you a little bit about the story too. God bless ?? https://t.co/2rICVG6yCF

— Kendall (@KendallJenner) August 6, 2018

Do u know Kendall? She’s the complete opposite &is the most generous,compassionate person I know! Her being standoffish is anxiety that paralyzes her which u take as rude! Only a despicable, entitled,unsympathetic,sadistic, uncharitable @self-absorbed human would write this tweet https://t.co/9Wwd9orILO

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) August 6, 2018

she’ll get yuh

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on May 26, 2018 at 5:08pm PDT

Photos courtesy of WENN, Instagram.

Now that we won’t be seeing the Duke and Duchess of Sussex for weeks, media outlets have decided to run stories about “what Meghan should do about her terrible father.” I’ve said from the beginning that the British papers have no credibility regarding Thomas Markle: they’ve been in bed with him for months now, by purchasing the set-up photos of Thomas and then pretending they didn’t know the photos were set up, then repeatedly paying him for obviously coached interviews and then acting like it’s the worst thing in the world that… he accepted payment for the interviews. It’s enough. And maybe this month-long holiday will be a chance for the royal family to all get on the same page about how they deal with the Markles. That’s what sources tell Entertainment Tonight:

Meghan is still upset with her dad: “She has not spoken to her father in more than 10 weeks since her wedding and is still hurt by her father, who has both staged the photos and continues to give paid interviews,” the source says. “The Palace is at a loss of what to do and is re-evaluating options, including a more aggressive strategy to stem the embarrassment caused by Meghan’s dad, half-sister and half-brother.”

Meghan is completely in the royal fold: “Meghan has established a particularly warm relationship with her father-in-law and Prince Charles adores his new daughter-in-law,” the source says of Harry’s father. “He pulled out all the stops at Harry and Meghan’s wedding and Meghan was grateful to him for showing such generosity and support when her father pulled out of the wedding last minute.”

She’s going to Balmoral, and she might shoot stuff: “Meghan’s looking forward to spending time in the Scottish Highlands. [Prince] William, Kate [Middleton] and the kids [Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis] are also due to visit the Queen for their annual visit to her summer home. The vacation is filled with barbecues, hiking, and shooting, although it is unclear if Meghan will learn the sport that Kate has picked up from various visits.”

Samantha Grant on Meghan: “I speak to [Thomas Markle] every day and it’s sad but, no, they have not contacted him… There is no meeting planned, that is PR spin. The PR machines can stop trying to make out she’s making an effort — she is not. This is a heartbreaking time for him and I’m very sad watching my sister ignore him.”

[From ET]

“The Palace is at a loss of what to do and is re-evaluating options, including a more aggressive strategy to stem the embarrassment caused by Meghan’s dad, half-sister and half-brother.” The half-brother is a problem, make no mistake, but Ground Zero of Markle Shenanigans is Thomas and Samantha. Those two are the toxic twins, birds of a feather. She’s the abusive a–hole apple who didn’t fall from the toxic tree. I hope someone in one of the palace communications offices comes up with a better plan than “we’ll just ignore them and allow the public to see how toxic and awful they are.” Because that’s not working. The media is playing by a different set of rules.

Photos and screencaps courtesy of WENN, ITV, The Sun.

Here we go again. This weekend was full of contradicting information about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s divorce. “A source close to Brad” ran to TMZ to tell them that Angelina’s divorce lawyer, Laura Wasser, was dumping Jolie because Jolie is an evil villainess. Jolie’s rep told People Magazine that it wasn’t true, but that Angelina had added some new people to her legal team for the unfolding custodial battle, but that Wasser is in place as Jolie’s attorney. So what was really going on? According to Us Weekly’s sources, the lawyer drama was about “someone” choosing to “misinterpret” the addition of those new people to Jolie’s legal team. Plus, Us Weekly has the same old bullsh-t about The Leg of Doom refusing to co-parent.

Nearly two years after filing for divorce, Angelina Jolie isn’t backing down when it comes to her long-running custody battle with Brad Pitt over their six kids.

“Angie’s big issue continues to be sharing joint custody with Brad,” a source tells Us Weekly, adding that “she can’t see past her anger for Brad that he is on his way to getting joint custody.”

The insider adds that Jolie, 43, “has objected to the coparenting classes” recommended by the retired judge overseeing their case. Meanwhile, Pitt is “willing to try” the classes, according to the source.

TMZ reported on Saturday, August 4, that Jolie is pushing her divorce attorney Laura Wasser to quit as the case is becoming “too venomous.” The insider confirms to Us that Jolie and Wasser “haven’t been seeing eye to eye for a while.” However, Jolie’s rep denies the website’s claims. “I’ve spoken directly to Laura. The TMZ story is not true,” her spokesperson, Mindy Nyby, tells Us. “She’s not quitting now or in the future.”

A second source familiar with the matter says, “Laura is not resigning from the case or planning to quit. The reason this story even arose is because someone misinterpreted the fact that new experts were brought in as the case moves into a new phase. The characterization of Angelina’s attitude toward the case is not true. She’s continually working to achieve the reunification of the children with their father. It’s really now between Brad, his kids and the family court, and the court will make a decision that’s in in the best interest of the children.”

The first source tells Us that Pitt’s attorney “would object to having a new lawyer come in at this late stage because it would only drag the proceedings on longer.”

[From Us Weekly]

For all the talk about how Wasser is all about encouraging parents to get along, I have to think that Wasser probably isn’t happy at all that she’s being used by Brad and his team to bash her client. It’s true that Wasser’s divorce cases are usually handled more smoothly than this, but Wasser isn’t “above” taking on a nasty divorce case (see: Johnny Depp). As for the rejection of these “coparenting classes”… yeah, I’m ride-or-die for Jolie, but I could totally see how she would absolutely refuse to do those classes with Brad. I don’t think she can even stand to be in the same room with him. Which is what this is really about – Brad continues to punish her for being the one who walked away from him.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Backgrid.

As we discussed last week, Jennifer Aniston is the September cover girl for InStyle. She was interviewed by one of her good friends, and the piece was actually pretty long. So long, that I really had to cull the hell out of the excerpts. One part that I completely ignored was Jennifer talking about what kind of fitness routine she does now. Just know that for years and years, Jennifer would basically only talk about yoga, and maybe Pilates a little bit too. But I guess Justin Theroux wouldn’t shut up about it, so Jennifer got into something Justin talks about a lot: boxing. This is what she said in InStyle:

MM: What’s your exercise of choice?
JA: Last year I discovered boxing, and I love it. I have this trainer named Leyon, who I believe hung the moon. It’s the longest workout I’ve actually stayed with consistently other than yoga. There’s something about the mental aspect of boxing — the drills, your brain has to work, you’re not just sitting on a bike. It’s amazing.

MM: I knew you wanted to punch someone!
JA: Boxing is a great way to get aggression out. You get a mental release of all this crap you’re taking into your ears and eyes every day and have little fantasy moments imagining who you’re actually punching. I’m just grateful it’s not actually the person, even though there’s one person. You know what I mean. It’s all good.

[From InStyle]

This is such a minor quibble, but I really do hate when people say that they “discovered” something that has literally been around for centuries. I’m guilty of saying that too, like I’ll say I “discovered” some actor in a movie or something. But I hate it. Anyway, since Aniston dropped the name of her boxing trainer, The Sun did some digging and now they’re trying to make it into a thing.

Single Jennifer Aniston has hired a personal trainer 18 years her junior for boxing workouts. The former Friends star, 49, is having sessions with Leyon Azubuike, 31 — ex-sparring partner to a world heavyweight champ.

Training takes place at the £15 million LA mansion she shared with second husband Justin Theroux, 46, until they split five months ago. Bryan Laverdure, Azubuike’s business manager, said: “Leyon isn’t seeing anyone. He trains her (Jen) at her house.”

[From The Sun]

Do you see what they’re trying to say? Of course you see it. Is Jennifer Aniston, 49, banging her boxing trainer, who is a very large 31-year-old African-American man? I doubt it, but I would love it if it was true. In fact, I think I have the plot line for Jennifer’s new romantic-comedy. A very wealthy woman going through a fake divorce (THEY WERE NEVER MARRIED) hires a good looking, younger black man for boxing lessons. As they’re jabbing and toussling, they fall in love. Will society reject the wealthy white woman + younger hot black guy pairing? Will their love heal racism? They’ll call it Bantamweight: A Love Story. Jennifer, produce this movie. Hire Michael B. Jordan to play Leyon.

A post shared by Leyon Azubuike (@leyon) on Mar 16, 2018 at 9:12pm PDT

Photos courtesy of Instagram, WENN.

The Fox All-Star party at Soho House in West Hollywood last Thursday played a little free and loose with the the moniker “All-Star” (I’m looking at you Jenny McCarthy and Sinbad). Yhe fashions were hit and miss, as you’d expect at a Hollywood press event. Singer Meghan Trainor was trying hard to bring lounge wear back in a glittery robe/dress from Victoria Hayes, paired with marabou-topped sandals and obnoxiously long extensions. When I saw this, the only way I could describe this look was to steal some inspiration from one of her hits…”The robe is NO, the shoes are NO, the extensions are NO. You need to let ‘em go, need to let ‘em go. Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no.”

Two of the stars from my new favorite show, Pose, were in attendance. Mj Rodriguez, who plays Blanca, and the uber elegant Dominique Jackson, who plays Electra, were at the event (along with show writers Our Lady J and Janet Mock). Mj was looking fierce in a leather mini-dress paired with cute ankle boots. Dominique looked pretty in pink in a lovely, delicate mini-dress of her own. These women are gorgeous.

Speaking of gorgeous, let’s talk about the goddess, Angela Bassett. The 59-year-old actress looked dazzling in a black ensemble. My only complaint is why I can’t look this amazing…actually it’s the too-long pants. I love shoes and I need to see what footwear she’s working with.

Tom & Lorenzo commented that Jennifer Love Hewitt’s floral print outfit was a “booby church dress” and I can’t think of a better description. Her hair and makeup look nice, so there’s that.

And lastly, the “cutest cast award” for the evening goes to Chris Geere, Aya Cash, Kether Donohue and Desmin Borges of You’re the Worst. Their latest (and sadly, last) season airs this fall. I want to have so many Sunday Fundays with these people.

Photos: WENN