This was big news yesterday, although I don’t really understand why. Still, beggars can’t be choosers when it comes to slow gossip days! Yesterday, Sam Taylor Johnson officially announced what we all knew last month: that she will not be directing the sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker. Her fights with EL James were just too intense, and Sam wants to move on to other projects. Plus, she’s already proven that she can play nice with a studio AND deliver a project on budget AND help make the film a hit. Sam told Deadline:

“Directing Fifty Shades Of Grey has been an intense and incredible journey for which I am hugely grateful. I have Universal to thank for that. I forged close and lasting relationships with the cast, producers and crew and most especially, with Dakota and Jamie. While I will not be returning to direct the sequels, I wish nothing but success to whosoever takes on the exciting challenges of films two and three.”

[From Deadline]

You know who I feel sorry for? Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan. Sam was on their side as actors. She wanted to make a good film that they could be proud of. She wanted their performances to elevate the material. With Sam gone, EL James is going to run the show and bully everyone into following her crappy “vision.” And it doesn’t sound like the producers are on Dakota and Jamie’s side either.

So, who will direct the sequel? Ten bucks says it’s just going to be some dude. They’ll go away from the female-oriented vision and the sequel will be sketchball.

Today with Jamie. #jamiedornan

A photo posted by Director FSOG (@samtaylorjohnson) on Mar 25, 2015 at 6:43pm PDT

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Yesterday I wondered about why Taylor Swift would take Calvin Harris to Nashville if they were *just* recording. Click here for a refresher. Last night Taylor was at the Kenny Chesney show. So she will, actually, get back together with country. At one point she joined Chesney on stage. Off stage …      

Before Kim Kardashian dyed her back to brown/black, she did a photoshoot for Elle France (I’m sorry, French people) as a blonde. The shoot was styled by her friend Olivier Rousteing, the designer of Balmain. He and Kim have become closer over the past few years, so he apparently made these ensembles for her. I don’t think the shoot is all that good, but whatever. At least Kim managed to do a magazine shoot before she abandoned her blonde.

What else is going on with Kim? Eh. AskMen did a list of their Top 99 Outstanding Women and Kim was #3. Seriously. You can see the AskMen slideshow here. She came in behind Emma Watson and MMA fighter Ronda Rousey. Kim scored so high because she’s such an amazing businesswoman, apparently. Taylor Swift is #4 and Lindsay Vonn is #5.

And finally, here are some photos of Kim yesterday, going to Barry’s Bootcamp for a workout. This is how I know I’ve been spending too much time looking at Khloe’s Pinocchio Butt: Kim’s butt looks totally normal to me. Right? It looks totally proportional. Meanwhile, I’m so glad that I go to a gym where the ladies don’t wear those butt-revealing leggings. Most of the ladies I see at the gym are just in sweatpants, which is awesome. I’d hate to see barely-covered bottoms while I’m trying to feel the pain.

Photos courtesy of Elle France, Fame/Flynet.

In 2012 the remains of King Richard III were discovered beneath a parking lot in Leicester, England. It’s an incredible story and I don’t know how it wasn’t a bigger deal—England, was this a huge deal to you? Richard III died at the Battle of Bosworth Field in 1485 and his…      

Well, well, well. Zayn Malik only just announced his very emotional departure from One Direction on Tuesday afternoon. This was the end of a 5-year run for what’s widely considered to be the best voice of the band. Teenage girls everywhere overreacted over the loss of their man. People worried about Zayn’s emotional state and wondered why he’d make such a drastic move in the middle of a world tour. As for Zayn himself? He didn’t wait around for the dust to settle. Dude was spotted heading into a London recording studio yesterday. He’s working on solo material with Naughty Boy (the songwriter who helped launch Sam Smith’s career). Oh.

Zayn also dropped an interview (a subscription piece) with The Sun. He’s really “upset” about letting his fans down — because they’re the reason why he stayed so long. He thinks the rest of the band will be “cool” without him: “It’s not that I’ve turned my back on them or anything, it’s just that I can’t do that any more because it’s not real to me.” He’s wanted out for a long time, and he’s fine. “I’ve never felt more in control in my life. I feel like I’m doing what’s right, right by myself and right by the boys.” Zayn insists there’s no drama between him and the other dudes.

No drama? People says the other 1D members feel differently about the situation:

Just a day after Zayn Malik announced that he was quitting One Direction because he wanted “to be a normal 22-year-old who is able to relax and have some private time out of the spotlight,” the singer was spotted walking into a recording studio on Thursday.

And that has fans and those around Malik feeling more than a little confused about his real reasons for leaving the band.

“He told everyone in the band and management that he wants to live a normal life and the next thing you know he’s going into music studios and doing interviews with tabloids,” a source close to the band tells People.

“Everyone feels a bit misled and thinks he was lying about wanting to live a normal life,” the source adds.

The other four members of the band — Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Niall Horan — released a statement after Mailk’s departure wishing him well and saying that they “will always be friends,” but that might not be the case anymore.

The source says that Malik is “very easily led” and there might be some people around him who are “trying to get him to do stuff and manipulate him.”

As the remaining members of the band close ranks and look towards recording a new album, the source says, “everyone feels played by him. Louis and Zayn are friends and will talk but the rest probably won’t.”

[From People]

So Louis and Zayn will stay buddies, but what about Harry Styles? Poor Harry! My daughter says she doesn’t buy the Zayn and Harry friendship that was pushed in videos and onstage. She thinks they were pushed together as the two lead singers. I feel SO played.

One of The X Factor judges, Louis Walsh, spoke up about Zayn’s mad dash from the band. Walsh believes Perrie Edwards pushed Zayn to go solo: “What I found in the past is as things get on, and as they get girlfriends, the girlfriends are whispering things in their ears and saying like ‘You should be a solo star,’ ‘You should be the lead singer’ – that’s usually the problem.” Sexist much? But Walsh knows the biz. He previously managed Boyzone and Westlife and adds, “The first few years are usually great and then people always want to be the solo star.”

Rolling Stone resurrected a “lost” 2012 interview where Zayn talks about how he never imagined being famous: “I literally went for an experience thing on the show and just hoped that … I guess I just got lucky.” At the time, Zayn semi-regretted not going to college in majoring in English. Uh-huh. Zayn is the Ginger Spice of One Direction.

Photos courtesy of WENN

This one is for Maria because she has an Aaron Paul thing. Or maybe it’s a Jesse Pinkman thing. Which I can’t understand because… Jesse Pinkman wasn’t exactly the sex. Is it a pity f-ck?

Here’s Aaron with wife Lauren Parsekian yesterday leaving Bel Bambini which…      

Sometimes, I do try to pay attention to the drama happening with Brandi Glanville on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but whenever I try to figure out the root of all the drama, there’s nothing there. Brandi is feuding with Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump and I guess Lisa Rinna too, but I just can’t really understand why? Something about Kim Richards, but that’s not even it. Anyway, one of Brandi’s latest controversies is that she wore a really revealing top during some dramatic scene and her girls were in full view during some heart-to-heart conversation – go here to see the NSFW video.

Meanwhile, Brandi still has drama with LeAnn Rimes, of course. Only Brandi is trying to bury the hatchet (not really) by announcing that she (Brandi) is “praying” for LeAnn. Sure. From Brandi’s Bravo blog:

Hey, My Bravoistas!

I’m in my American Airlines’ seat 36 hours later, flying back home from NYC, thankful to be on a safe path home. My prayers go out to the families and loved ones of the downed German airliner in the French Alps this morning. I cannot imagine the pain being experienced by these families at this moment, which shockingly has led me to add a new person into my flight prayer today…my children’s stepmom. Don’t get me wrong–not everything is yet copasetic, but my children love her, so she is now in the “flight prayer,” differences aside. Now on a happier RHOBH note, last night’s WWHL with Andy was sooooo fun! No drama for once!

NEWS FLASH! Please watch for my new Sonoma County Chardonnay “Unfiltered Blonde,” to launch in April!

[From Bravo TV]

I like that she doesn’t even write LeAnn’s name, she just refers to her as “my children’s stepmom.” That’s cool. I’m sure LeAnn refers to Brandi as “my kids’ birth mother.” So, Brandi prays for LeAnn as part of her in-flight prayers. I’m not sure that’s a good thing. I’m not sure Brandi’s word goes very far with God, you know?

Oh, and Brandi is the last person who should have her own wine line.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’ve seen some bad movies that have made me rage recently, but though it is a profoundly bad movie—I mean that literally, it is profound in its badness—The Cobbler starring Adam Sandler isn’t upsetting to watch. It’s mostly just boring, and then toward the end it&rsq…      

Do you think Gwyneth Paltrow is a good mother? I think she probably is. What little we see of Apple and Moses, they seem like well-adjusted, normal kids. Gwyneth took a lot of time off from her career to spend time with them when they were babies, and even now, their schedules seem to be her #1 focus in how and where she works. My only concern is that I think Gwyneth pushes a lot of her food issues onto her kids, but it also seems like Chris Martin does a good job at balancing that stuff out and “letting the kids be kids.”

I bring this up because this week’s Goop-letter is all about “narcissistic parenting.” It’s a long piece and it’s worth a read – go here for the full piece. Gwyneth didn’t write it or anything – it was written by Dr. Robin Berman, a professor of psychiatry at UCLA. There’s a lot of talk about “healthy narcissism” versus “malignant narcissism” and how parents are too self-absorbed these days and they ruin their kids’ childhoods. An excerpt:

Narcissism doesn’t have to be absolute. It can show up in little ways and often under the guise of doing “what’s best” for your children or giving them opportunities you were deprived of when you were little. For example, it’s understandable that you’d want to enroll your kids in soccer because you didn’t get the chance to play, but you also have to notice if they even like soccer. You might bring home clothes in monochromatic colors because that’s your style, but you have to notice what colors your child gravitates to. While you want your child to attend your alma mater because it worked for you, think about whether you’ve asked if it will work for him. To get narcissism out of the picture, make sure your motivation stacks up with what your kid wants.

Narcissists have a way of making everything about them—they take up all of the air in the room. Their profound need for attention and praise subverts everyone else’s needs. Unchecked, a parent’s narcissism eclipses a child’s feelings. Narcissistic parents take their children’s every feeling or action personally. These parents are easily angered when a child does not agree with them or mirror them. Parents with narcissistic tendencies are so sensitive to praise and admiration as fuel that it makes them overly sensitive to criticism. So children learn to tiptoe around these emotional minefields, trying not to trigger that anger, or worse, have their parents withdraw love.

[From Goop]

I predict that some will snicker and say that Gwyneth is not only a narcissist, but she’s so self-absorbed, she’s oblivious to the fact that this post is about her. But is it really? Don’t get me wrong, I think Gwyneth is a self-absorbed narcissist too. But I’m just not convinced that she’s a bad mother. I think she’s the kind of mother who is all about the special-snowflake parenting. Which is a whole other psychological analysis.

You know who fits the textbook definition of “narcissistic parenting” though? Kimye.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Just like mama!

Dawson’s Creek alum Katie Holmes shared a fun (and rare) photo with her 8-year-old daughter Suri Thursday. “#girltime,” the actress, 36, Instagrammed the shot of them both applying makeup.

“I have a lot to be grateful for, so I do count my blessings every day. I really do,” Katie said in December.

The black and white image comes just over a week after the dating rumors between Jamie Foxx and Katie resurfaced.

#girltime

A photo posted by Katie Holmes (@katieholmes212) on Mar 26, 2015 at 12:12pm PDT