One of my new favorite genres of royal reporting is when the royal commentators accidentally reveal the truth about something that they’ve been lying about for months. It’s been happening a lot lately, so much so that I have to think some of the royal commentators are doing it on purpose, perhaps to yank on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s short leash. Very little of this reporting is being done specifically to favor Prince Harry and Meghan. Like, that’s not the goal. The goal, if you look carefully, is to poke at William and Kate and to make them sound lazy/dumb/incompetent and dull. Which, to be fair, isn’t hard. So enjoy this please:

Meghan Markle’s multi-million brand will destroy Prince William and Kate Middleton’s own A-list appeal, an expert has warned. Since relocating to California with Prince Harry and son Archie citing privacy concerns, Meghan has signed massive multi-million content deals with the likes of Netflix and Spotify. But Meghan and Harry’s own star power is threatening to eclipse the A-list appeal of Prince William and Kate Middleton who must remain popular and glamourous for the long-term future of the monarchy.

Speaking on True Royalty TV’s The Royal Beat, Royal biographer Duncan Larcombe “What Harry and Meghan have done over the past 12 months is sow seeds which will spell potential catastrophe to the Royal Family.

“When 50 million people are watching Harry’s chat about organic yoghurt or whatever it is that he wants to promote, and 5,000 people are watching his brother – Prince William, the future King – do a royal engagement, opening a supermarket in Hemel Hempstead or whatever – that is when it becomes a problem.”

[From The Sun]

Finally, someone says the quiet part out loud. For months and months, the talking point was that Meghan and Harry will fail miserably without the Windsors’ support, that how dare they even dream of being successful without the royal establishment on their side, poor Harry will have to leave his wife and child in America and come running back to his “real family” and beg them for forgiveness. And after all that, Harry and Meghan are fine, they’re building their own empire, they’re happy and making money. And worse yet for the Windsors, Harry and Meghan are still very popular around the world, especially in the large American media market. So yeah… William and Kate do look dull. They always did! Will and Kate’s brand was never global, it was never glamorous and it was never exciting. They are two very limited, lazy, parochial people and their political base is just… English suburban royalists who kiss their asses for being white. That’s it. And yes, it IS a problem and a potential catastrophe. Entirely of Will & Kate’s own making.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red and Backgrid.

I went the entire four years of the Trump “presidency” without hearing the story about his “Diet Coke Button.” Maybe I did hear it once and then I just immediately forgot it because Donald Trump is a white supremacist fascist and there were more pressing concerns. Here’s the story: when Trump moved into the White House, he became enchanted with the trappings of the Oval Office. There was just one thing missing: a button he could push to immediately summon a Diet Coke, his favorite beverage. He guzzles Diet Coke constantly, always has. So, Trump had a Diet Coke button installed. It was a little box front-and-center on the Resolute Desk. And it only took a few hours for President Biden to uninstall that sh-t.

President Biden has removed the Diet Coke button. When @ShippersUnbound and I interviewed Donald Trump in 2019, we became fascinated by what the little red button did. Eventually Trump pressed it, and a butler swiftly brought in a Diet Coke on a silver platter. It’s gone now. pic.twitter.com/rFzhPaHYjk

— Tom Newton Dunn (@tnewtondunn) January 21, 2021

Here’s the thing: I enjoy a diet soda pop, as President Biden would say, but it’s absolutely crazy that Trump even had a Diet Coke button installed, and it’s equally crazy that it was someone’s job to carry a Diet Coke into the Oval Office on a silver platter. Can presidents not simply install a mini-fridge in that Oval Office passageway? So, I’m glad President Biden uninstalled the Diet Coke button, even if it was a missed opportunity for Biden to simply make it into an ice cream button. “See, kids, if I push this button on my desk, a man will walk in with an ice cream cone in less than a minute, I swear to God!”

The Washington Post had a story on Inauguration Day about the quick changes that President Biden requested for the Oval Office beyond, apparently, removing the Diet Coke button. Gone are the Andrew Jackson portraits and Nazi paraphenalia. President Biden’s Oval Office includes the triumphant return of the navy rug, portraits of FDR, Alexander Hamiliton, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin. Scattered around the room, President Biden has busts of Martin Luther King Jr, Robert Kennedy, Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt and Cesar Chavez. Pres. Biden also wanted “a sculpture depicting a horse and rider by Allan Houser of the Chiricahua Apache tribe that once belonged to the late Sen. Daniel K. Inouye (D-Hawaii) — the first Japanese American elected to both houses of Congress.”

(The Diet Coke Button was the small wood box beside Trump’s phones.)

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

So many men think it is their god-given right to tell women what to do with their uteruses. Women aren’t having their BS. Such a man decided to come for Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child after she posted a lighthearted video on Instagram discussing her upcoming book. This Instagram troll decided that he had had enough of Michelle Williams engaging with her fans. I guess he felt what she had to say was frivolous and that she needed to be pushing out babies. The following exchange is all women feeling frustrated with folks, mostly men, telling us we should offer our uteruses as a service to the world.

The Instagram troll began the exchange with:

“Michelle I love you but you need some children…u r 2 bored…”

Michelle’s clapback was quick indicating that she does not suffer fools lightly. Michelle wrote

“You’re an idiot!!!! ??????”

Not taking the hint to back off. The user responded to Michelle’s subtle warning by acting as if she hurt his feelings:

“woooooooow that was uncalled for thank you ?”

So Michelle, being the powerful woman that she is, schooled this fool-

“No, what’s uncalled for is you telling a woman that she needs to have children. What if that woman CAN’T have children?? What if that woman DOESN’T WANT children. WATCH YOUR MOUTH and FINGERS….. Don’t you ever let that come out of your mouth or your fingers on a comment section again to ANYBODY. I would have ignored but too many people need tp stay out of a woman’s uterus!!! Now scram and be blessed!!!”

Dude eventually apologized for his error and hopefully he learned a valuable lesson. However, what irks me about this exchange is how often it actually happens. I decided that I didn’t want children at 21 and I have yet to change my mind about it at 44. But I had to constantly defend my decision to men and nosey old church women who thought I was being selfish by choosing not to bring children into the world. One guy even had the nerve to tell me it was my DUTY to carry on my race. Like really dude? I no longer apologize or explain my decision to anyone but wouldn’t it have been ironic if I just COULDN’T have children and not that I didn’t WANT children? I have plenty of friends who have struggled for years to get pregnant. They are made to feel inadequate because they cannot have babies. That is why the recent stories of Meghan Markle and Chrissy Teigen having miscarriages are very important. It gives women the space and courage to openly discuss their struggles. I would also like to see more women talk about choosing NOT to have children and how their lives are fulfilled in other ways.

This policing of a woman’s body needs to stop. Like Michelle said, no one has the right to ever tell a woman what she should or should not do with her ovaries. Women have enough they need to deal with from day to day without having to deal with this antiquated ideal of feminine fulfillment being wrapped up in being a mother and a wife. That ideal must be deaded. Like 2020 deaded.

I am so glad my girl Michelle did not take any quarter with this loser. Let it be a warning to everyone who believes they have the right to tell a woman that she should have kids. Until women have the right to tell men what to do with their semen and penises, STFU and stay out of our uteruses.

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photos credit: Instagram

I am playing catch up with this story so if I apologize if I leave anything out. Kelly Dodd, who calls herself Kelly Leventhal on social media since marrying Rick Leventhal in October, is one of the Real Housewives of Orange County cast. Kelly has made the news repeatedly during the pandemic for being the worst person she can possibly be about COVID. Basically, Kelly is inconvenienced by the virus that has killed 406,000 US citizens. Early on, Kelly was criticized for traveling back and forth to New York after limited travel was advised. In response to these criticisms, Kelly said that COVID was “God’s way of thinning the herd.” She followed those comments up with more ridiculous facts she made up about how COVID was killing less people than the flu and somehow found a way to rejoice about those deaths. Since then, Kelly’s Instagram has been a collage of Kelly enjoying her life in heavily infected Orange County and various other affluent areas, all with groups of people, none of whom have masks on. She has repeatedly been taken to task about how casually she’s treating COVID precautions. Every time Andy Cohen has her on, he bombards her with fan questions about when is she going to pull her head out of her @ss (my words). In a preview clip for the new season of RHOC, after Kelly repeatedly coughs in the studio, Andy asked her, again, if she was taking COVID seriously and would she wear a mask. Her response, “I will wear them because I have to but does your pants [sic] protect you from a fart?”

Almost a year into the coronavirus pandemic, Kelly Dodd still doesn’t see why masks are important.

Dodd, 45, admitted during the “Real Housewives of Orange County” reunion that her stance on protecting herself and others from COVID-19 hasn’t changed much.

“Well I hate wearing a mask,” she told Andy Cohen in a sneak peek from the upcoming reunion. “I think everybody’s on that with me. I will wear them because I have to but does your pants protect you from a fart? Like is it helping? Are the masks helping? I don’t know.”

Gina Kirschenheiter, Braunwyn Windham-Burke and Shannon Beador looked disgusted by her admission.

“Kelly, I know Braunwyn did an interview when she said that you were not taking COVID seriously and there were a lot of people who expressed that on social media,” Cohen pressed her. “What’s your reaction to that?”

Without hesitation, she responded, “I said some things that I regret. I feel bad for anybody who’s lost loved ones. I think it’s horrific. I think it’s horrible. Did I take it seriously? Yeah, but I also was frustrated.”

Cohen then asked her how many trips she took during the first six weeks of lockdown. She did not say how many times she traveled cross country to New York, but she did say she went frequently to get business done with her now-husband, Rick Leventhal.

[From Page Six via Hollywood Life]

“Like is it helping? Are the masks helping? I don’t know.” But she does know, we all know, she simply doesn’t want to admit it. Kelly has apologized repeatedly for those herd thinning comments, even referring to them as the “stupidest thing I’ve ever said.” Her own mother was hospitalized with COVID, spending time in the ICU, so it’s closing in on Kelly. (I phrase it as such because, according to Kelly, she and her mother are currently estranged, and she found out about her mother on her brother’s social media). She claims her issue with masks is claustrophobia, but that doesn’t explain her unmasked guests at her countless parties. Or, when she finally puts one on, why she takes it off to talk or take selfies while still in public. She isn’t taking it seriously and she’s promoting not taking it seriously to others. A fart might make the room unpleasant, but it isn’t going to kill anyone. She needs to stop deflecting with stupid analogies, they aren’t doing her any favors.

Later in the reunion show, Kelly got tired of Andy bringing up how mad fans were about her quarantine behavior. She fought back by saying that she’d received a bunch of fan comments about Andy, “saying that you’re anti-American, that you put your political beliefs out there, that they don’t want to watch a political show.” The “politics” of course, being that Andy doesn’t like Donald Trump, which explains exactly why Kelly doesn’t “know” if masks work and won’t wear them simply because they annoy her. And if you read the comments on her Instagram, you can see why she feels so emboldened to keep spouting this nonsense – her fans are, in fact, all siding with her, many “confirming” that masks don’t work. And I just know these Housewives will be the first to get the vaccine when their age group comes up because the studios will secure a bunch for them. So I will be in my car for seven hours in the Dodger Stadium parking lot with only Tic Tacs to sustain me while Kelly is fast tracked for two doses.

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Adele separated from Simon Konecki in April 2019. Adele went on a total journey following the split, losing weight and giving herself a major makeover, and building a life for herself in America. There was some question about whether Adele and Simon were even legally married, but then in September 2019, she did file for divorce, so that answered that. Then we didn’t hear much about the divorce or Simon, so at least it didn’t seem like it was a contentious divorce or anything. Now it looks like Adele and Simon have worked out a divorce settlement:

Almost done. Adele and her estranged husband, Simon Konecki, have reached an agreement on their divorce settlement, Us Weekly can exclusively confirm. The “Someone Like You” singer, 32, filed a judgement packet with the court on Friday, January 15, nearly two years after announcing their split in April 2019.

The estranged couple, who each represented themselves in the case, will not be officially divorced until a judge signs off on the agreement. The pair opted to determine rights to community property and debts through mediation.

Adele, who shares 8-year-old son Angelo with Konecki, 46, filed for divorce in September 2019. The initial filing showed that both parties wanted joint custody and visitation of their son, which they planned to negotiate through a mediator. In March 2020, they signed a confidentiality agreement in regard to the details of the case.

[From Us Weekly]

I think if you’re just divorcing someone because you grew apart and there’s not a mountain of legal, criminal or financial sh-t to work through, mediation seems like the smart thing to do. For celebrities especially, because it ensures that your divorce won’t be splashed out on the tabloids and blogs. We really don’t know anything about Adele and Simon’s marriage and divorce or what made them grow apart or what’s going on with their son Angelo. That’s how it should be, honestly. I hope Adele didn’t have to give Simon a chunk of her fortune!

It’s also possible that this is the final thing that Adele wanted to complete before she dropped her new album. We’re getting another heartbreak album, I’m sure! Reportedly, Adele might be ready to drop the new album NEXT MONTH!! Or at the very least, she’ll definitely release it this year.

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Photos courtesy of Instagram, Getty.

HBO’s Euphoria has created a lot of break out stars. Zendaya won an Emmy for her role as Rue Bennet making her the youngest woman to win lead actress. Euphoria also gave us transgender actress Hunter Schafer, 21, who plays transgender teenager Julia Vaughn, a part-time underage sex worker. Julia is a good friend to Rue but she is also Rue’s enabler. Hunter’s role in Euphoria is a very big deal because she represents the many transgender teens who may or may not feel seen (despite her character being extremely problematic. To be fair all of the teenagers in this show have issues).

As we wait on Euphoria’s second season to be released, HBO kept us satisfied by releasing two special episodes over the holiday season. Hunter is profiled in the New York Times where she takes us on a journey of her three days in New York City to attend the Gotham Awards. In a series of journal entries, we get to learn more about Hunter. For example, she likes screamo music. I have no idea what that is but hey, if she likes it, I love it. We also discovered that Hunter likes to take invigorating 30 second cold showers in the morning to wake herself up. Below are a few snippets from Hunter’s three day journaling in The New York Times:

Monday Morning
I’m really bad about hitting the snooze button in the morning, so I need something pretty jarring to wake me up — I just use the regular annoying iPhone alarm. But I’ve also been sleeping to the Kajillionaire soundtrack, so I get nice little bits of that in my five minutes before my alarm goes off again.

One thing that’s changed since the start of the pandemic is my shower routine. When I’m filming, I’ve been obsessed with this thing my friend told me you can do where, at the end of your shower, you turn the nozzle all the way cold and let yourself sit in the freezing water for 30 seconds. Its brings you to life.

Monday Evening
I sat at my own table, socially distanced from the other presenters, at the Gotham Awards ceremony at Cipriani Wall Street. I gave out the short form Breakthrough Series award, which I was so happy to see “I May Destroy You” win. That show took me out when it came out last year — it was [expletive] incredible. I’m a huge Michaela Coel fan…

Tuesday Afternoon
I came across this album, “Hunter Schafer’s Boyfriend,” by an artist named CHASE after someone tagged me in it on Twitter. I was like, “What is this?” Then I listened to it, and it’s actually sick. I genuinely enjoyed it — there’s something electronic and poppy about it, but also elements of rap and maybe a little screamo, too.

On Her Wish List
I love drawing by the window in my hotel in New York, coffee in hand — that’s my dream of a day. I love Basquiat, Egon Schiele and Sage Adams. I go through waves where I get really into drawing for a couple of weeks, then I set it aside for a bit because I don’t feel that creative. Hopefully I’m going to go through another one soon.

[From New York Times]

It took me a minute to get into Euphoria because I tend to dislike the adultification of teenagers. However once I started watching the show, I really got into it. Yes, many of the characters are spoiled entitled children, some are abusive, and all of them are lost. In most cases, these kids are either emotionally neglected or completely abandoned and this is why many of them turn to sex, drugs, and violence to cope. The adults in this show are also messed up.

Hunter’s character is dealing transitioning as a teenager, body dysmorphia and a lot of self loathing. The show shines a light on the difficulty of being a teenager and the pitfalls that come about when teenagers don’t have proper guidance. My soul personally hurt for Julia, Hunter’s character. She just seems lost and self-destructive. Hunter is also very good at making Julia sympathetic.

With that being said, I love that Hunter takes ice cold showers in the morning. That was one of the things that I used to do at the ashram. It is encouraged as an ayurvedic method of waking your body up and getting your blood flowing. It was also frigging hot in Thailand so it was a great way to cool down. Taking ice cold showers and going ice swimming is also really great for your skin. I love that there’s a song called Hunter Schafer’s Boyfriend. That is the cutest thing and shows that many have embraced Hunter. Hunter seems to be a well-rounded individual as well. She loves Basquiat and that tells me she is a true artist. I am looking forward to season two of Euphoria and the chaos it will bring. And I am keeping my eye on Hunter Schafer. Not only is she stunning, but I believe she may be a star in the making.

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If she hadn’t posted this to her own social and her name wasn’t in bold on the cover, I would have no idea this was Sarah Paulson, which I think is the point. It’s a transformation and she commented that they took her eyebrows. She just looks so different. Is it corny of me to be enjoying all of the…