If there’s anyone who could make me re-evaluate my Chris rankings, it’s Tessa Thompson. Pine is still my number one but watching Tessa and Chris Hemsworth hang out while shooting the new Men in Black is really strengthening Hemsworth’s stock. He only slightly edged out his brother Liam as my best He…

If you’re anything like me, you were idly reading stuff on Twitter this morning and you wondered why “Heidi Cruz” began trending. Heidi Cruz is the long-suffering wife of Senator Ted “Zodiac Killer” Cruz, who is up for reelection in Texas. His opponent is Beto O’Rourke, the charismatic, good-looking, badass Democrat. Will Beto win? I hope so. Do I think Ted Cruz is a charisma vacuum who likely murders hoboes? Yes. Do I also have some kind of weird sympathy for Heidi Cruz? Maybe. So that’s why Heidi Cruz started trending – The Atlantic did a soft-focus interview with her about how her life is kind of crazy and maybe we should have sympathy for her. The problem is that even Heidi Cruz fully admits that she knew what she was signing up for when she married the Zodiac Killer. The details in this piece… well, here’s a small taste:

She loved the Zodiac Killer at first sight: He was “super-smart” and “really fun” and looked like a “1950s movie star.” “It was love at first sight,” she told me.

His first gift to her was a pearl necklace: Call me every day when your day is done, she instructed him. And he did call her, every day that spring, at about 3 or 4 a.m. Later that summer, Ted gave her a strand of pearls. Probably fake, she still thinks, but they were from Bergdorf Goodman. And this was special: She’d mentioned once that she liked to go to Bergdorf’s, to look at the china and other delicate things behind glass, and he’d listened.

What he insisted on for their wedding: Heidi found herself planning a May wedding to a man who, for all his pretension, insisted they play “A Whole New World,” the popular Disney song, at the end of the ceremony. She didn’t understand: They had a band, she told him—a violinist, no less! Why on earth would they play a CD? “Because no one can do Aladdin,” he said. She relented, and it became a theme of sorts. Or that’s how she remembers it, anyway. On a magic carpet ride.

What she wishes she had known: “I would say to younger women: Be intentional about your decisions. And I do appreciate that Ted started our life together with that song, because there’s some truth to it. He’ll be like, ‘It’s such a great life! We have so much adventure ahead! It’s like our magic-carpet ride.’ And sometimes I’m like, ‘I hope we don’t hit the cement.’”

[From The Atlantic]

First off, I would be out the door as soon as the guy insisted on playing a song (off a CD!) from Aladdin. I don’t care if it’s a beautiful song. That sh-t is tacky at a wedding. But the entire piece reads like that – Heidi is more sympathetic than her husband, but to be fair, Charles Manson is more sympathetic than Ted Cruz. She comes across like a rich, bored housewife with ennui. She’s not dripping with self-pity, to her credit, but you can tell that she’s like “I could have had a successful career on my own, why did I subjugate my own interests to marry the Zodiac Killer?” Plus, her husband ended up kissing up to Trump after Trump attacked her looks. Why would you stay with a man who did that? The Atlantic never asks.

Some reactions to The Atlantic article:

Heidi Cruz is a ‘victim’ according to the Atlantic. Victim of what? Victim of being married to Ted Cruz. Ok, now I understand. That makes sense. #ThursdayThoughts

— John Lundin ? (@johnlundin) October 18, 2018

I give a lot of credit to Heidi Cruz for being able to stand by her husband @tedcruz after he accepted the endorsement of a man (@realDonaldTrump) who verbally and brutally attacked her in front of the nation.

That’s why I support @BetoORourke

— Ed Krassenstein (@EdKrassen) October 18, 2018

Embed from Getty Images

Photos courtesy of Getty and Avalon Red.

I can’t believe how much time has been spent this week on discussing whether or not the Duchess of Sussex is a thunder-stealer extraordinaire for daring to be visibly pregnant at Princess Eugenie’s wedding. It’s clear to me at this point that Eugenie’s wedding rolled around when Meghan was passing the first trimester and her little bump was beginning to show. She and Harry told close family before the wedding, like Doria, Prince Charles, Prince William and the Queen. But everybody else? I’m assuming Meghan told other people at Eugenie’s wedding and that it wasn’t some big deal. But the media is trying to make the most out of the Miracle Meg: Thunder Stealer narrative.

The world heard the news of Meghan Markle’s pregnancy on Monday — but the royal family had a heads-up three days earlier. As the extended family gathered at Windsor Castle to celebrate the wedding of Prince Harry’s cousin, Princess Eugenie, the parents-to-be couldn’t hold back their excitement. Why use that occasion to spill the baby beans? “It was a happy family event, and that’s where happy news gets shared,” a close source tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story.

It’s likely they had already told Harry’s brother, Prince William, and father, Prince Charles, before the wedding. It is thought that Meghan’s mom, Doria Ragland, was told in person when she attended the launch of her daughter’s charity cookbook last month. Insiders say that baby buzz, which had started slowly in late summer, was only getting louder and that the couple felt it would be too difficult to keep the pregnancy under wraps during their 16-day tour Down Under. By announcing the news before the tour, the couple has been free to talk openly about it — from accepting baby gifts to getting a sneak peek of what’s to come.

[From People]

In retrospect, the timing of the announcement made perfect sense. I would even argue that announcing the pregnancy as soon as they touched down in Australia was a brilliant PR move for the British Commonwealth ties – this tour will be remembered not just as Harry and Meghan’s first big tour as a married couple, but also the tour with Meghan’s little baby bump, where Meg-Mania took hold in Oz. As for Eugenie’s stolen thunder… keep in mind that for most people, the day really was all about Eugenie. She got her wedding day to herself – no one besides close family knew about Meghan’s pregnancy until days later.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

Dear Gossips,

Mariah Carey is releasing a new album November 16 called Caution. Which means she’ll be on a promotional push for it through the holidays, her favourite season. Her own season. The first two songs off the album, “GTFO” and “With You”, didn’t do much. A third song, “The Distance”, d…

Joe Biden has all but announced that he’s running for president in 2020. He’s 75 damn years old and he needs to NOT run for president, I’m sorry. I like him a lot and he was a great vice president, but no. His age, his handsy vibes, and his flawed legislative history should all combine to be “too much” for him to run for president ever again. But Biden is out here, doing the kind of “I’m probably running” interviews that all potential candidates do. He was interviewed on CBS This Morning and Biden discussed why he feels like Donald Trump should not be impeached if the Democrats get control of Congress.

Former Vice President Joe Biden on Thursday said he hopes Democrats don’t try to impeach President Donald Trump if they retake the House of Representatives following next month’s midterm elections.

“I hope they don’t. I don’t think there’s a basis for doing that right now,” Biden, one of the top Democrats believed to be weighing a 2020 challenge of Trump, said during an interview on “CBS This Morning.” The former vice president said that Democrats should wait until special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia probe is concluded before taking any steps against the president.

“There are so many things to attend to immediately,” Biden said. “Let’s see where the investigation takes us….I’ve been around a long time; you wait until the investigation’s finished. You don’t put an arbitrary end to it. You wait until it’s finished, and let’s see what it has to say.”

Instead of focusing on the president, Biden urged lawmakers to focus on policy.

“I think we should focus on all the terrible things that are happening now in terms of interest of the middle class people and working class people,” he said.

[From Politico]

On one hand, I completely understand what he’s saying, which is that Democrats should wait to start impeachment proceedings, God willing, until they have all their ducks in a row, especially since starting the impeachment will suck all of the oxygen out of room, and that will be the only thing anyone can focus on. On the other hand, are you kidding me? Donald Trump commits impeachable offenses on a daily basis. It takes an almost childlike naivete to believe that Trump’s ONLY impeachable offenses are related to the Trump-Russia investigation. Take your pick from any one of a bajillion crimes and offenses and get this motherf–king impeachment train on the tracks.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

I’m still really salty about everything that happened during the US Open Women’s Singles Final between Serena Williams and Naomi Osaka. Or should I say, everything that happened between Rena, Naomi and Carlos Ramos, because Ramos inserted himself into the match like people had paid tickets to see him act like an a–hole. I’m not here to relitigate that mess, so I’ll just say that in my opinion, both Serena and Naomi deserved better. Naomi played brilliantly, and her first Slam title was marred by a snowflake umpire baiting a legend of sport. In the weeks that followed the final, Naomi has continued to play brilliantly during the Asian swing, and she’s currently #4 in the world. There’s still a vibe of “let’s try to make this shy girl smile and laugh because we feel so bad about what happened.”

Days after her US Open, Naomi appeared on The Ellen Show, and Ellen DeGeneres did the most to try to get Naomi to name her celebrity crushes. Naomi settled on Michael B. Jordan, because she’s a woman with a pulse and ALL of us have a thing for MBJ. MBJ was entirely gracious about the whole thing, and he even sent Naomi a cute little video. Well, Naomi’s birthday was this week, and Ellen – who is drunk with power – decided to tease Naomi a little bit more:

Happy birthday, @Naomi_Osaka_. I got you a present. @michaelb4jordan pic.twitter.com/RVlX6Tmt5h

— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) October 16, 2018

Naomi responded with “pls block me” and then… Michael B. Jordan decided to send Naomi a special personal gift:

This one is better and more recent. LOL ? Happy Belated Bday Naomi. But seriously I want to invite you to the Creed 2 premiere as a bday present ? pic.twitter.com/TS8vmSsRdM

— Michael B. Jordan (@michaelb4jordan) October 17, 2018

And Naomi agreed:

LOL what is going on ????? Thanks for the bday wishes, If you’re serious I would totally want to go ??

— NaomiOsaka????? (@Naomi_Osaka_) October 18, 2018

Now, do you think Michael is really interested in this sweet, shy girl? Or is he simply being a really nice guy? Or is Ellen behind all of this, the Master Puppeteer of Celebrity-Tennis Drama?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

Just yesterday we discussed Keira Knightley not allowing her daughter Edie, 3, to watch classic Disney films like Cinderella or The Little Mermaid because of the message that women need saving. More modern Disney stories with heroines who have self agency, like Moana and Frozen, are ok in Keira’s house though. Frozen voice actress Kristen Bell and her husband Dax Shepard have two daughters, Lincoln, 5, and Delta, 3. Kristen recently told Parade Magazine that while she doesn’t ban those stories she does use them as talking points about consent.

On reading Snow White to her daughters
“Every time we close Snow White I look at my girls and ask, ‘Don’t you think it’s weird that Snow White didn’t ask the old witch why she needed to eat the apple? Or where she got that apple?’ I say, ‘I would never take food from a stranger, would you?’ And my kids are like, ‘No!’ And I’m like, ‘Okay, I’m doing something right.’”

“Don’t you think that it’s weird that the prince kisses Snow White without her permission?” Bell says she has asked her daughters. “Because you can not kiss someone if they’re sleeping!”

On using books to teach about feelings
“There’s a book called Grumpy Monkey that we love that allows the monkey to be grumpy, even at the end. Other characters give him solutions but he decides he’s still grumpy,” Bell explains. “I’ve had that feeling, and I want my girls to know that you’re allowed to feel it. Figure out ways to pick yourself up when you are ready. I really like that message.”

On teaching Lincoln to read
“I look at my child’s brain like a hungry stomach. I have to feed it every day. Even if I’m rushed, I have to feed their brain just like I feed their belly.”

Kristen spoke to Parade at an event for Baby2Baby, a Los Angeles-based charity which provides supplies to families in need. She also talked about the importance of teaching her daughters about charity, which is an issue that she often champions.

It’s smart to point out the issues in the old fairy tales, which are based on 200 year old stories. Even more recent media can be obviously problematic. My son is a teenager and I recently thought it would be a good idea to rewatch some of the classic John Hughes movies I loved when I was his age. The issues with Sixteen Candles were especially glaring and he definitely noticed them too so we talked about it. So many of the stories and movies we loved as kids look completely different when we rewatch them now. I would talk Kristen’s approach and talk about it rather than ban any of those classic stories, but that’s every parents decision. When a child is very young it might be the right approach not to let them watch it until they’re mature enough to understand.

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Had such a beautiful day with these @baby2baby lovebugs. Thank you @moonlite.world for this special story time and for sending these sweethearts home with a bag full of helpful goodies. @Baby2Baby, you rule.

A post shared by kristen bell (@kristenanniebell) on Oct 12, 2018 at 3:26pm PDT

photos credit: WENN.com and via Instagram

Emily Ratajkowski was arrested last week as part of the large demonstrations and protests around Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination (and confirmation) to the Supreme Court. It’s just a reminder that Emily might not be the most intellectual feminist out there, but she really does care and she really is trying. Emily has long discussed feminism in the narrow view of “feminism is not judging me for my scantily clad selfies.” Well, Emily has a new interview in Grazia where she says much of the same. It’s not that I truly disagree with her about most of this stuff, I just wish her take on feminism existed beyond the end of her nose. Some highlights from Grazia:

Whether selfies are art: ‘Yes! I think selfies have more to do with talking about gaze, especially for women. I don’t know if that is always art but they definitely engage in a conversation about the gaze – a new level of self-portrait.’ She hates art elitism, though. ‘The thing that made me not like the art world is snobbery and the bullsh-t. Art in every form should be about a visceral response.’

She likes French feminists. She admires how Frenchwomen embrace their sexuality in a way that’s ‘never vulgar’ or ‘obvious’ because they always ‘have ownership of their bodies’.

Good lord, did you know she had developed her bust at the age of 13? ‘I had quite a figure at that point, curvy with really big breasts’ – when she wore a cute dress to a dance and was turned away for looking too sexy. ‘It was so embarrassing. I wasn’t having sex and didn’t know what being sexy was so it was very strange to get that kind of reaction. I felt like it was my fault although it wasn’t.’

On feminism & sexuality: ‘For me, feminism is all about choice: socially, sexually, in the workplace, in any capacity. It is about women having the freedom to choose.’? Are there limits to that? ‘I don’t think so. Once you start drawing lines you’re missing the point, because everyone has different things they want for themselves… and there are no limitations for men in that way.’ What’s essential, she thinks, is that ‘Women must feel liberated, not constrained, by feminism.’

She doesn’t want to be a mom or a role model yet: ‘I don’t want to be vanilla! I think having haters is a good sign! I want to inspire people to get mad.’ When I ask what she’s afraid of, she says ‘mediocrity’. ‘I would rather have 300,000 trolls than nobody saying anything.’

Marrying Sebastian Bear-McClard: They married after they dated for just four weeks because she ‘felt if I’m not going to get married when I’m this in love with someone then I don’t ever want to get married’. She walked the aisle in a yellow Zara suit. ‘It just felt like the most me outfit ever,’ she grins. Yes, her wardrobe was a feminist statement. No, she didn’t take his name. Although, she grins, ‘My family has been joking about him taking mine.’

[From Grazia]

How many times is she going to tell that story about developing her bust early on? Good lord. Every time she tells that story, it feels like she’s saying “I realized I was a feminist the moment I was discriminated against for being stacked.” As for the rest of it… I actually had a minor epiphany while I read through this interview: Emily is a new strand of Cool Girl. She’s the new Feminist Cool Girl, where she’s all about making her White Feminism Lite appealing and palatable to men. She’s not looking to extend her knowledge of feminism beyond “I want to post a lot of sultry selfies,” so she’s just telling men that when they look at her bust, they’re being feminist allies. That’s what it is.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Producer Jason Blum is a big deal. His production company Blumhouse Productions has redefined and breathed new life into the low-budget horror genre with films like Paranormal Activity, Insidious, Get Out, The Purge and more. He produced the current Halloween reboot with Jamie Lee Curtis returning to the role of Laurie Strode. Critics love this Halloween sequel as a more modern approach to the story, with Jamie Lee Curtis playing Laurie as a badass, gun-toting, revenge-seeking heroine, and the film is framed with a more feminist approach. But… Halloween was directed by David Gordon Green. ALL of Blum’s horror productions are directed by men. He’s never produced a major horror film with a female director. When Polygon asked Blum about his company’s sausage party vibes, he said this:

With more and more female voices emerging through the festival circuit, from which many of Blumhouse’s directors emerge, the omission struck me as odd and compelling. When I ask Blum about hiring a woman to direct one of the company’s horror films, he too seemed jolted by the idea that it hasn’t.

“We’re always trying to that,” he says. “We’re not trying to do it because of recent events. We’ve always been trying.”

“There are not a lot of female directors period, and even less who are inclined to do horror,” Blum says. “I’m a massive admirer of [The Babadook director] Jennifer Kent. I’ve offered her every movie we’ve had available. She’s turned me down every time.” (Kent was not available for comment at the time of publication.)

[From Polygon]

Blum goes on, throughout the course of the interview, to talk about all of the women he’s approached over the years to potentially direct this or that project, and I actually believe him that many of the female directors with their own profiles probably turned down various low-budget horror scripts. But that didn’t stop a lot of women from speaking out about his “There are not a lot of female directors period” line. Film sites have been creating lists of female directors who should do horror, or have done horror, or would be open to doing horror. There was a backlash against Blum, basically. And he ended up apologizing:

“Thank you everyone for calling me out on my dumb comments in that interview. I made a stupid mistake. I spoke too quickly about a serious issue–an issue that I am passionate about.”

The producer of this weekend’s Halloween added that 50 percent of Blumhouse Productions’ audience is female, and that 50 percent of the companies executives are as well. He tipped his hat to successful franchises starring women including this weekend’s Halloween, a sequel to the 1978 hit horror film starring Jamie Lee Curtis.

“But we have not done a good enough job working with female directors, and it’s not because they don’t exist,” Blum continued. “I heard from many today. The way my passion came out was dumb. And for that I am sorry. I will do better.”

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

As I said, in the context of the Polygon interview, I genuinely got the feeling that he has spent years approaching female directors and offering them scripts, and that many women have turned him down for various reasons. But as others have pointed out, we have no way of knowing if Blum holds on to his best properties and franchises and only gives those to male directors. It also doesn’t seem like Blum is really devoted to DEVELOPING projects with female directors, like he does with men. Still, I think his apology comes from a genuine place and I hope he does better in the future.

pic.twitter.com/rOnlRpcLqF

— Jason Blum (@jason_blum) October 18, 2018

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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Something I wish I knew about when I was 18 and voting for the first time: ?EARLY VOTING?. It makes it so quick and easy to go and cast your vote before November 6. Early voting starts TODAY in Tennessee and goes to Nov 1 ?? You can check out your state’s early voting dates at the link in my bio

A post shared by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Oct 17, 2018 at 6:02am PDT

You know what I like about the conversation around Taylor Swift and her current political activism? I like that Tay-Tay isn’t trying to shut down any part of the conversation. When she came out two Sundays ago and dropped that Instagram and explained why she’s voting for the Democrats in the mid-terms, she was criticized by some. She was criticized for staying silent for so long, and for the privilege of her position, that only *now* does she see a reason to get involved. To my knowledge, Taylor isn’t trying to shut down those conversations or engage with them at all, which is the smart move. That part of the conversation needs to be talked about, but overwhelmingly, the reaction has been “welcome to The Resistance, Taylor.” The fact that the Snake Army feels politically agitated and engaged, however messy that might be, is a good thing.

On Wednesday, Taylor posted the Instagram above, informing her millions of fans – many of them young, voting-age women – about early voting. The Republicans are going to rue the day they messed with the Snake Fam, I am telling you. Personally, I’ve never early-voted. I like going to my poll on Election Day. I like the buzz in the air and the feeling of civil duty on a crisp November day. But that’s *my* privilege talking – I have the freedom to vote on Election Day because of the hours I work, and because CB prioritizes voting for all of us here at Celebitchy, and because I live in a wealthy, majority-white-county with easy access to polls. Other people – some of them part of the Snake Fam – do not have that same kind of access and privilege, and they will enjoy the early voting systems in their states. Voting SHOULD be this easy. But for many, it is not. I’m glad Taylor is out here, continuing the conversation and encouraging young women to vote in the midterms whenever they can, on their schedule.

There’s debate across the political, entertainment and music world as to whether “the Taylor Swift Effect” will really take hold. I say it’s already taken hold – hundreds of thousands of people have registered to vote in the past two weeks. Taylor is giving weekly messages – online and at awards shows – to remind people to vote. Plus, as I said in the opening paragraph, she’s up for this conversation. She’s here for it, she’s engaged, and she’s participating in it. I think The Tay Effect is real.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Instagram.